My son just asked me if Jesus had a tattoo. So funny!!

A baby will be born...

Look at those chubby little cheeks!!!! So cute, I just wanna kiss them over and over again!!!

If you know me, you know that I think giving birth is one of the most powerful and awe-inspiring experiences ever. Whenever I think about the possibility of this being my last child (which is hardly ever, because I don't want to get sad!), one of the first things I get sentimental about is the idea of this being my last time to give birth!

So today when they told me that baby is in frank breech position, and that there's a very good chance that I will need to have a C-section, I have to admit I was pretty bummed. I allowed myself about ten minutes of being sad, and even cried about the potential C-section and the idea of never having another natural birth again... and then I made myself move on.

On to incredible thankfulness for another healthy pregnancy and baby, for the two beautiful natural births that I have had, and for the time that I have left in this pregnancy (in which I will be doing positioning exercises and praying for a somersault!)

Those of you who have had C-sections, I know how extremely petty I sound! I know it occurs often, and that it is still birth, just by a different method. I know that it is still the most incredible day ever, being the day that you meet and hold your baby for the first time, and I definitely don't want to take anything away from that. I have just been extremely fortunate to to experience and enjoy my two vaginal births, and I had just allowed myself a moment of 'mourning' the idea of not having that chance again.

But the moment is over.

"Be still and know that I am God..."
-Psalm 46:10

I have hope that he may still flip, even though it's late. But mostly, I am resting in the knowledge that whatever happens, it is all part of His perfect plan.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Romans 8:28

I know that it's not a big deal either way; all I can ask for is a healthy baby and that will be the greatest blessing ever, regardless of which birthing method brings him into our arms! How reassuring to know that God is in control-- my faith in Him fills me with peace. Not just regarding my pregnancy and birth, but also in my marriage and in raising our children. All the things that sometimes weigh on my heart, they truly have no power when surrendered into His loving & capable hands.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 4:6-7

I am sooo thankful!!!! He washes away our worries & fear and fills us with peace & joy!



Still... you can know beyond a shadow of doubt that even as I'm in this happily pregnant state, full of acceptance and peace regarding the baby's position and his upcoming birth, I will most definitely be cheering him on under my breath until his birth-day:

"Turn, baby, turn!" "Turn, baby, turn!" :)

A girl can hope!!

Hmm... too tired to think of a title!

Merry Christmas!!! (This is the back of our tree, oops!) P.S. Yes, this is the same photo twice-- one for the tree, one for the faces!

We had an interesting Christmas tree hunt. I'm not going to lie! We picked up the first one we looked at. We were so cold and it was a nice tree. I tried so hard to prep us for the hunt... getting us in the holiday spirit, playing Christmas music and singing about Rudolph in the car, and drinking Caramel Apple Cider (AKA: Liquid Apple Pie). I actually straightened my hair & put on makeup for all the fun family photos we would take. But it turns out I expected too much- I do that sometimes! (Dreamer, idealist!)

When I was little, every single Christmas, my family would make thermoses of Hot Cocoa, dress warm in scarves & mittens, go to the cut-your-own Christmas tree lot, and scour the "forest" while singing Christmas Carols (YES, we sang Christmas Carols). It was perfect, sentimental, lovely. My dad did all the work being it was just us girls with him, but he never complained.

So this time, even though we can't cut our own & the boys don't sing yet, I still wanted something lovely. But Kevin and I kept having tiny moments of misunderstanding. I think I was pretty irritated because Kevin put Baileys in his coffee (after already having some beer & wine). I'm not ragging on him. He is wonderful and I love that man whole-heartedly. But I was just so irritated that I ended up letting it taint my sentimental experience, and I let it change the way I treated him.

Don't get me wrong, we still did enjoy our time. But it was sprinkled with my bad-mood when I was hit with those "this is not wholesome!" or "this is not what I wanted" thoughts. Those were the moments when I would snap something like, "That's the garden center, not the cashier!" and he would defensively reply, "Okaaaay!" Up & down. Up & down! That's how today has been! We're just not meshing 100%! And of course I want to blame him! But I am responsible for my own behavior.

Anyways it ended well. Sorta. I'm still irritated & disappointed about the forementioned behaviour, but I'm also happy that we have our tree and I'm confident that I've learned from this experience. I can't have perfect, but I must draw the line on my sentimental family traditions! This is my family. These traditions are going to be forever in my children's memories (as they grow up). Maybe they'll never know what was in Daddy's cup, but I want a peaceful family and it's not going to be easy as long as that cup is spiked. I pray he doesn't fall back into his "drink-too-much" days! And I also pray that I can be a good wife to him and respond with love.

Aaaaand, here's a picture of my thirteen month old climbing. I'm sorry for making a big deal out of it... my sister says this is normal... but after Jake (my cautious little one), this is so foreign to me! Jake just now started climbing on things, at two!

It's shocking how balanced Austin is. He's been walking all over the place, it's absolutely darling! But you wouldn't think that a toddler who is BARELY toddling would be climbing, standing and balancing on ride-on-CARS! Crazy kid, it's sooo much fun!!! I love seeing how different he is from Jake. I love how spirited he is. Aww, I love them!

A few of you asked what kind of camera I got. Since I can't take a picture of it, here's the brochure. (Evidently, I'm still taking photos of anything and everything!!) It's the Nikon D40. That's all I know! I haven't had much time to read about it. I like that you can manually focus or auto focus, and it is digital which is definitely important. I also like that you can change lenses if you want. This will come in handy when the boys are in sports & I want to zoom-in. Oh please let this camera last that long! We have such bad luck with technology. Sometimes we're careless (oh, great regret! my favorite laptop, dropped one-too-many times!), but sometimes we're just plain unlucky (ahem, disappearing CD-ROM on brand new computer, discovered too late!)

Anyways, on a completely different note, Jake has said so many cute things lately-- but I will be selective in my sharing. (You're welcome!) heehee

So I got Jake a little Bible which has a picture of Noah & the Ark on the front. When I gave it to him, he pointed to Noah and excitedly exclaimed, "Danta!!! Ho! Ho! Ho!" ("Danta" = Santa).

It's been a month & he still thinks that it's Santa, even though we've read the story of Noah many times since. He calls it his "Danta Bible".

He also thinks that John the Baptist & Jesus fell off a boat (during the Baptism) and they're swimming with Bruce the Shark (from Finding Nemo).

Adam & Eve aren't really Adam & Eve... they are my nephews: Adam & Nico. They are "nated" (naked) and catching a "BEEEED NATE" (big snake). (Didn't you KNOW!?!?!?) Every time I say Adam & Eve, he corrects me: "No, Mama. Dat Adam & Nito!"

He makes me laugh so much!

MIA

I've been away from here for a long time!

When I have nothing to say, at least posting photos of the boys usually brings me here-- but, alas, my camera is broken. {Sad! I'm DYING without it!}

But just imagine that you are flipping through snapshots of our family trip to Disneyland... It was Kevin's first time going with us- and I loved seeing the joy in his eyes as he watched Jake jumping up and down during Fantasia (& yelling "Mittey Mouse!") My parent's were so, so happy too- and that was priceless. I loved spending the day with them (loved it loved it!), but maybe even more than that, I loved seeing them with the boys!

We now have photos of Austin's first birthday-- including the nautical cake I made with the stubby, crooked number-"1" candle that I had to create out of an old "8" because I lost the "1". (Found it the next day, of course, in one of Kevin's shoes. That's the work of a certain one-year-old for sure!) This montage wouldn't be complete without his sweet cake covered face & an excited gift-unwrapping photo.

Oh, and we will have to display the Sears portrait session in which the A/C was broken & the kids were uncooperative- those photos are winners. Haha They're not that bad! But they're not great either. There are a few worth keeping.

I would have definitely posted photos of my pumpkin-roasting and pureeing fiasco, in addition to the taste-test comparisons of my made-from-scratch pumpkin pies vs. the made-from-can pies. Because I'm lame like that. The photos would make you feel very cozy & fallish & probably a little hungry. I'd also add a shot of my turkey-cranberry wreath because it's pretty and makes me feel accomplished, even though it's simple to make. :)

Last, but not least, our Thanksgivings- runny-noses & all! We really had a wonderful thanksgiving and were so thankful to spend time with both of our families. It also marked the time that our month (or more) of illnesses began to turn around.

Stay tuned for some equally impressive photography this December, including (but probably not limited to) my grandma's month-long trip vising from New York (& first time meeting Austin), the boys meeting Santa, possibly Austin's dedication, some Apple-pie in Julian, and of course our Christmas.

Don't you feel just so sorry for me?? Good- so family... PLEASE send your memory cards, disks, photo attachments, or negatives my way! This is killin' me! I have a scrapbooking date this Sunday, with NOTHING TO SCRAPBOOK!

This is the worst blog-post I've ever read or written!

But I broke the ice. (Of the blog that hasn't been written-on in 21 days.)

I better get back to my life. Although there are two sleeping kids at the moment, there is also a new resolve to go to bed early and wake up before them. (Which is REALLY early. They wake up anywhere from 5:00-6:00.) But I have to do this. I want to have more of me to give them. And I can't give them my best if I'm sleep-deprived. I've been victim to self-inflicted sleep-deprivation, as I've gotten in a horrible habit of losing a few hours after the kids are asleep to mindless TV-watching or internet-surfing. Plus, if I can have my quiet time in the morning, I am so much better equipped for my day. Mornings are the hardest for us here in the R-household, and I have a little inkling that if I start them at the feet of my Jesus, they will somehow be a lot more manageable!

So as much as I want to clean the house & work on decorating, I'm going to honor my new resolve, and go to bed. It's hard! A tornado truly did hit in our house today.

But...

Good,sweet,night.

Please don't stop by unexpectedly tomorrow morning!

The unposted post

I had a post sitting in my "drafts" folder... One of those "should I really post this?" posts. For me, they are usually the ones that are a little personal. But I couldn't stand the two back-to-back QUIET TIME, BABIES SLEEPING! broadcasts. That is not what my life looks like most of the time. That is only what my life looks like during a few precious sometimes. (Which is why I always feel the need to shout it off the rooftops!) haha

So this post was just added (into it's proper slot, a few posts down). It was written on the same day as the 2nd SLEEPING BABY post.

I will also interject here, in case you do read it, that when I said: something in me has changed (at least for today) ... Yah, it wasn't permanent. I wish I could be at peace with chaos- I wish I could embrace it and just roll with the punches all the time! I have moments and days where I can, but sometimes I'm just not as focused (or together or rested or ready). I don't know, some days I just don't have what it takes-- and they are usually the days that I didn't have my quiet time in the morning!

Sleeping, or not.

I just wrote a post about this moment, the boys sleeping and such. I'm posting it above this one because it has PICTURES!!!! (Yes, I found my camera!)

But I can't leave out the fact that the sleep saga has not gone so smoothly. Where I left off, the boys were sharing a room, sleeping fairly good.

Unfortunately, that did not last.

The last few weeks have been an absolute nightmare. (With regards to sleeping.)

I'll spare you the details.

It's gotten a bit better, (as evidenced by the post I just wrote, and the quiet-time that I'm now enjoying), but I'm beginning to think that my kids just aren't great sleepers.

Lastnight my husband asked me what we're doing wrong.

I've asked myself that a million times. Is it us? We have tried everything.

But today, I feel refreshed. I spent some time lastnight in the word and praying about pride & humility, parenting, relationships, etc. Anyways, that question, ("is it us?"), is not holding any weight in my heart anymore. (Thankfully!)

I don't care what anybody says or thinks, but today I sat & ran my hands through my 2-year-old's hair until he fell asleep. Forget 'self-soothing,' 'routines,' 'sleep-training,' etc. Obviously, none of that is really working for us anyways. And I was just struck by the thought that if I keep on putting so much pressure on the attainment of the perfect routine, the perfect naptimes, the perfect bedtimes... these years will pass me by.

Oh, how sweet it was to watch my 2-year-old fall asleep again.

Sometimes the baby wakes up from his nap prematurely and the sound of his cry brings me dread. OH! HE ONLY SLEPT 30 MINUTES!

What am I thinking? What is wrong with me?

Something about my time with the Lord yesterday changed me. (At least for today!)

Today as Austin's little cry drifted into the living room, I made a joke about my 'quiet-time' being over, and THEN... I savored the sound for a second. ...that's my sweet baby...

I know, I just wrote a post about how much I love my me-time and the sound of silence. I do. But in my heart-of-hearts, nothing beats the sound of my babies. These baby cries are going to be gone before I know it.

{sigh}

I have been humbled by the idea that these kids have been entrusted in my care. What an honor. What a responsibility.

My heart has been softened to the cries, to the lack of schedule and ultimately to the lack of control. That is probaby where my hang-up is. I can't control them or this situation right now. This is an opportunity to surreneder yet another part of my life to the Lord. Saying, once again, I can't, but you can. I don't know what to do, but you do.

I was having times where it wasn't easy to react with love because of the importance I had placed on the sleeping situation. Because of my desire to have control and also because of the prideful notion that I deserve a break. But once I empty myself of me and let go of control, it makes room to more fully grasp the truth that this time spent with my children is such precious time. It's a fleeting time, and time filled with learning moments both for them and for me.

So today I decided that if I can't fight them, I'll join them. haha Is that the saying? I'm notorious for saying "sayings" wrong or out-of-context!

So this time as Austin woke up prematurely, I allowed his little cry warm my heart for a second. I went and scooped him into my arms, quietly smiling as I noticed that his breathing immediately slowed and his eyes relaxed shut again. I rocked him, singing praises to the Lord and whispering prayers of thanks.

I pray that I can live a life that will point to the Lord, that he may be glorified. I pray that I can shower my children with His love, even in the difficult times.



P.S. I'm not discounting the importance of sleep. And even the importance of predictability in a childs life. I think it's important for the child's sense of security (among other things). But I am realizing that I'm not in control and that it's OKAY. They will sleep, it will work out. It's not that important, in the scheme of things. Definitely not important enough to make my heart hardened or resentful towards their mid-naptime or nighttime cries. I'm sure the day will come all too soon when I barely get a hug out of them, let alone being able to snuggle & rub their little heads to sleep.

Bedtime routines, they just got better!

Jake has been saying "Amen" after our bedtime prayers for about 1 1/2 weeks now. Oh my little heart!!! That little quiet, almost whispered "Ah-mn" just makes my heart so happy!

Tonight Jake melted my heart even more when he said "Jesus" during our prayers- it was so cute!!! His J's are so edgy and cute, like a "ZSHJ". I just want to hear him say it again and again!

Here are a few bedtime pictures from tonight. (After Austin's bath and during Jake's.) Isn't Austin's head beautiful!?! It's so round and symmetrical and cute and blondish!!! (That crazy comment will make more sense after my next post probably. My bed is calling me!)

Cardboard Testimonies & Housecleaning

My friend posted a video on her website that made me absolutely BAWL. If you've never seen the cardboard testimonies, you definitely should. What a powerful display of how God has transformed people's lives, Click HERE to link to her post & view video.

I also ran across THIS today and liked it. (About "Fixing A Day", it's kinda about cleaning but more about surviving. lol)

He is faithful, He answers!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

God is in this.

There are no such things as odds in God's book.

(Excerpts & verse taken from a friend's encouraging message to me... thank you, Joanne!)

I'm not sure if you've heard it, but one of my favorite worship songs, "Shout to the Lord", was performed by the American Idol contestants a few weeks ago. The iTunes version is even 100% better than the live performance, so if you haven't already raced out to purchase it, it's TOTALLY worth the $.99!!! (P.S. Idol Gives Back is only on iTunes until May 10th)

Here's a video of the live performance, though. I loved it when I first heard it, but now that I have the iTunes version, it doesn't even compare. --Attempt to embed video-- Did it work?

The reason I'm bringing this up is because this song has been everywhere for me the last few days. Every time I turn on my iPod it comes on at least 2-3 times (yes, I have a lot of versions of this song on there, but I also have about 1500 other songs on there!) It plays on my computer playlist, it comes out of my mouth as I'm cooking, cleaning, driving, singing bedtime songs. I love it, and I'm just clinging to these words these days. So I'm going to write them. For me. And maybe for you, if you decide to read them.

Don't forget... that Idol version is so powerful! I get goosebumps (and sometimes tears) every time when Carly Smitson and Syesha Mercado belt out "I sing for joy!" And David Cook's "Forever I'll Stand" and "Forever I'll love you." It's just beautiful. Yes, I've put it on repeat a few times. And I also downloaded that amazing performance of "Please Don't Stop the Music" ... which went immediately to my 'workout' and my 'cleaning' playlists. ((I've been doing a lot of the latter, and not much of the prior!))

{end American Idol commercial}

Okay, here are the lyrics, for me.

"My Jesus,
my Savior,
Lord, there is none like You;

All of my days I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love.

My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;

Let every breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You.

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King;
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name.

I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You."
(-by Chris Tomlin, I'm pretty sure. He writes everything!)

Just a few days ago I wrote in my prayer notebook (I think in response to something I read over at Mourning into Dancing, and then my Bible reading for that day (Matthew 8:1-22):

"Are you choosing to dwell on the "what ifs" instead of the "He cans" and the "He wills"? ... (omitted rambling, Bible readings, etc, ending with my crazy excitedness) ... He can! He will! He can heal! He will retore! He can protect! He will provide! He can hear! He will answer! ... (another omission)... You can and you will bring healing and peace."

That night and the night after, He did protect, He did answer. And now, more than ever, I'm seeking his PEACE (that surpasses all understanding, absolutely). Almost on a moment-to-moment basis.

{ETA (edited to add): As I was proof-reading, (yes proof-reading, yay me!), I feel it necessary to say, in case you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, that we're all fine and nobody is hurt or anything... It's just that the reality of my husbands job is kinda shaking my world right now... I just don't like to write certain keywords about his job on my blog, I'm scared of hackers. Well, my family is scared of hackers. I don't believe in them. haha There's *one* thing I'm not afraid of!! Back to scheduled programming...}

This morning's reading started with Matthew 8:23.

"...You of little faith, WHY ARE YOU AFRAID?" (v.26)

Don't ask me that! My mind floods with reasons to be afraid. Because of guns fired, because of my husband's life at risk, because of the horrifying thought of ever being without him, & of my kids ever being without him. That is why I'm afraid. That is why I'm certainly terrified at times these past few days.

"You of little faith, WHY are you afraid?"

My husband is here now. He provided His protection. GOD IS IN THIS. He answers, He alone is faithful, He protects. Our God is bigger than this!

I cannot be strong without God. I cannot face these things without my faith in Him. Everything is so topsy turvy right now, and God is my rock. I am the unfaithful one. I am the one who is wavering... looking to Him, seeking peace, and then the next moment getting lost in the fearful thoughts (with eyes wide as saucers, I'm sure, letting my imagination run free.) The next moment, battling the knots in my throat, tummy, heart, and setting my focus straight. Praise and thanks to the Lord, for his protection and grace. He is in control. Peace. Like I said, topsy turvy.

"My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;"

Yes you've heard me say it a million times, (or twice), my children are in His loving hands. So is my husband. I think my life has a theme goin on right now. I got it, already! Well, I'm getting it. I just wrote last week "I need my faith to be stronger & greater" ... I wasn't exactly asking for an opportunity though.

If this is too much for you, I'm sorry! This is about as transparent as it gets, right? Very uncharacteristic of me. I also don't talk much about my faith, here or in-person. Except with family and close friends who share my beliefs or when the conversations go there, you know? It's just very personal to me, and I like it that way. I'm not "qualified" (I know, neither is anyone.) But I can't just post Bible verses without exposing myself a bit-- that I'm learning, that I waver, that I am not all together all the time. Not even the majority of the time! haha

So our worlds have been a-rocking over here. Of course, hubby is fine, it's just me who is getting all shaken up. He's prepared for these things. Not I. No, my coping mechanism has been to FORGET completely what he does for a living. I've seen him in uniform ONCE in the past 6 years. When he goes to work, he's simply at WORK and that's as far as my mind takes me. Yes, I told you I had it all together, didn't I? I'm all about healthy coping mechanisms.

Enough rambling. Enough bearing of my soul. (Or is it baring? It does feel quite bare!) We're okay, we're gonna all be okay, we're good. We're actually really good. Our time together since his little incidents have been so rich and real and just treasured- My husband is strong but I see it's affected him. I see it in how he is with the kids and how he is with me. This has been a not-so-gentle reminder, a not-so-gentle (and absolutely unwelcomed)wake-up call. We have something great here.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16

Love it, that's all! It makes me think of my babies. And of my own life too. And, mostly, God's greatness.

Memory Verse Wednesday

I need a do-over this week. Sorry! The week seemed to slip by so quickly! I've been meaning to write the verse on a notecard & rearrange my bulletin board to include it, but never got around to it. This morning I was *shocked* when I realized that it's Wednesday again!!!

So, if you DID memorize it, then this week we can use the 'runner-up' verse I had mentioned last week.

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled, set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1Peter 1:13 (NIV)

I'm not going to attempt to add it because my goal is to have a post next Wednesday that says NOTHING about brains being full, do-overs, or memorization mix-ups!

Wedensday's Memory Verse, and other random thoughts

Oh no! My brain! The more verses I add, the more I mix up the locations! (Ephesians 4:29, no, 4:13, no, 3:17...)



So I'm still reviewing each one so those locations can sink in, but I'm going to press on and add another one this week.






My bulletin board is full, but I can't bring myself to remove any of the verses because I love them so much!!!



So here it is, I really love this one:



"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)





This one was the runner-up:



"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled, set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1Peter 1:13 (NIV)



(If you want to memorize two this week, help yourself, but I sure won't!) I love that this (2nd) verse is a call to action. I'm working on self-control. Controlling myself in finances, controlling the words I speak, and controlling my emotions/frustration. I'm telling you, that last one, I can't do it without God! I can't do a lot of things without Him! Since I had Austin, my life has changed. Of course in the obvious ways, you know, being a mommy-of-two. But my world has seriously been rocked, and I'm so thankful for it, because it's caused me to realize (again) that I'm not in control and I can't do it without Him. I don't want to! I had been crying out for years and years, that I felt far away, that I had distanced myself and didn't like it but couldn't get back to how I used to be. He hears and answers-- in His time and in His way! Yes!!





I haven't posted in a while, (for a few reasons.) My maternity leave ended so I'm back to work, and I also have the new goal to not use the computer when Jake is awake. So when I do use the computer, I'm often on for a quick moment to check emails and read the blogs of a few friends (new & old!) And of course, I always manage to find a random topic (or 7) that need(s) to be googled and researched thoroughly. What did we do before the internet!?

So I haven't had much time to post. Which has prompted me to think about this blog a bit. I didn't intend to be a blogger. I especially didn't intend to write personal things on here! I debated whether I should continue it and what direction it should be going. I really do love it. It's a nice outlet, a nice record to look back on, and a great community of friends.

Through reading and getting to know you all, my friends!, I've grown so much. Although I love using this space to reflect on and record the joys and blessings in our lives, the other stuff is just as much a part of the journey. It's through struggles that we learn and grow.

SO, (conclusion to my rambling), I've decided that if I'm going to write anything personal in this place, I want it to be real, so I need to post even the harder things. Still, I'm not sure how often I will be divulging such personal glimpses of myself. I'm not great at that. We'll see. I just can't go around posting Bible verses without exposing the fact that I don't always live up to the ideals I have for myself and my family! I'm just an ordinary girl, trying to live my life to His glory. And definitely learning as I go, as we all are.



So for now... I'll just be writing whatever, whenever- and sharing pics of whatever, whenever.

And I'll try not to think about who is reading and what they may think! You all have been such a great support system and source of encouragement and inspiration! I thank you for that and maybe by allowing myself to be more open, I can be the same. If nothing else, a reminder that you aren't alone. (Say, when you cry like a baby over spilled milk, literally. I've totally done that!) LOL

And to remain true to my blog's original purpose... pics of MY BOYS!!!!! I love 'em, I love 'em!!!
BTW, these little guys are more fun/interesting/captivating than anything I have EVER written!!!!

Wednesday's Memory Verse

How'd you do on last weeks verse? Sometimes I have it, but not ALL the time. Sometimes I mess up at the end. And I'm still reviewing the 3 from the prior week to help them sink in. My brain feels full! SO I chose an easy one for this week. (Well, it's only easy if you know the song!) But it's a very good one. Very, very good!!!!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:38-39

Beautiful people

Okay, I can't go any longer without posting about this.

I've been following the Compassion team's trip to Uganda for a few days now. (See "button" on my sidebar.) I've been anticipating it, as I've kept up with Shannon over at Rocks in my Dryer (as a reader). Another blog I read every now & then is Sophie's at BooMama. But since the team arrived, I've been reading about their experiences on almost all of their blogs. The pictures are incredible and their stories and words are so touching. I'm so thankful that they are sharing this with us!

(P.S. Underlined words are links. Click on them to see what I'm talking about.)

So I just can't escape it-- I'm thinking about, talking about, and dreaming about these people, these precious faces! My heart just aches because I want to be there! And because I love those kids. I get a knot in my throat and tears fill my eyes as I read every day.

Ever since I was TINY, I wanted to be a missionary. As a kid, when people would ask, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I always answered that I want to be a missionary, and my biggest dream was to go to Africa. My parents were told that I would be a missionary when I was just an infant, but they never told me until I expressed the desire. So why am I not over there?

I love my life, I wouldn't trade it! My job right now is to raise my children and be a good wife to my husband (obviously, since this is where I am!), but I wonder if I ever will get to do these things. Before we got married, Kevin told me that he would go with me if I went on medical mission trips, but it never happened. Which is my fault! I got caught up in living my little life and had distanced myself from the Lord, and now that I'm drawing nearer to God (thankyou!), I can't go. Not while my babies are so young!!

The few mission trips I did while in High School and College changed me forever... but for now, I am living vicariously through this team. And I might just find a way to sponsor a child or two, since I can't visit them or adopt one. Yes, adopt one. If you know me, you know that I want to have 5 kids, and I want to adopt. Kevin called me Angelina the other day, but that is absolutely NOT it!!! If I won the lotto, I would definitely carry out this dream. It's a good thing that I won't be winning any time soon, though, because Kevin says he wouldn't adopt OR have 5 kids! LOL

(We'll burn that bridge when we get there. Mark my words, if we come into millions, we *will* be having that conversation! haha)

I know some of you may say that these bloggers are just another "advertisement" to sponsor children. I don't care. I think it's a brilliant way to get the word out. Because it's for the children. I've always wanted to sponsor children and it's wonderful to see what sponsorship does for them. Even if sponsorship doesn't interest you, it's still very touching to see these pictures and read the stories, so if you can find the time, check them out!

Memory Verse Wednesday

Did anybody memorize the verse(s)?

A few days ago I was cleaning up some spilled coffee, and I was silently uttering my memory verses under my breath as I was doing it... that's how I memorize. So here I am, crouched down on hands and knees, cleaning the floor and saying (or mumbling) in an almost-whispered run-on sentence, "...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28, I can do all things through him who gives me strength, Philippians 4:13, Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths..." and then I look up and see Kevin standing across the room, just staring at me.

I laughed, and before I could explain, he said in disbelief, "are you talking to yourself!?!" OBVIOUSLY he couldn't hear what I was saying, or else he'd have known that I'm perfectly sane! lol Every time I caught my breath (from laughing) to explain, he would make some other accusatory jab (I vaguely remember the word 'crackhead' being used!) and would set me off laughing again. I did finally get to explain, which (I think?) gave him renewed confidence in my mental status. {{I still laugh every time I think of it}}

So this weeks verse... (drumroll)

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 3:17 (NIV)

If you have any suggestions for the next ones, please chime in. Right now I'm reading 1Peter (LOVING IT!) but I don't want all my memory verses to be from the same book.

I was thinking about this verse the other day as I was making Kevin's lunch. It's a good one to keep in the forefront of your mind & heart! Even the most tedious tasks become pleasurable when you think of them in this light. Even a form of worship. So instead of dreadfully rushing through this (breakfast, lunch & coffee making) to get them over with, I thought about blessing my husband and thanking the Lord, and I was instead filled with energy and joy. What a huge difference!

In the book that I'm reading, (The Power of a Positive Mom), one of the readings was Romans 12, and the prayer at the end of the chapter said: "...Help me to glorify you as I work, teach, play, change diapers, and make sandwiches each day..." It may sound silly, but I don't think it is. It's something that I want to strive for! Not that we need any other motivation besides just being closer to the Lord and glorifying him, but I think as a parent it's all the more important! I've been thinking more and more about the significance of my job as a mother. Little eyes and ears are watching and listening... gleening every bit of information from not just the things that we do, but the way that we do them. I want to live my life with my eyes turned upward. I want my babies to know the goodness of our Lord!

P.S. I either need to take English again, or stop proof-reading. Sorry if the incorrect grammar and sentence structure is distracting! I know when things aren't 'correct' but I don't always know how to (or want to) fix them. I used to be so good at English! I think emailing and text messaging have ruined me! I've been slipping a bit... maybe I'll get better.

Memory Verses

This weeks memory verses. I know, they're super easy... kinda like the bread & buter verses that EVERYone knows!!! This is my first week doing memory verses (I haven't done it in YEARS!) so the 1st two are ones that I absolutely love but can never remember the location. And by choosing such 'common knowledge' verses, I thought it'd be a good way to ease myself back into the memorization.

And the third verse, well that's just one I need to repeat to myself numerous times per day in order to keep me from saying unpleasant things out of frustration, saying negative things to or about others, and especially, from nagging my husband (sorry, only ~50% effective rate on that one! LOL).

Here they are, just in case anybody wants to join me in the weekly memory verses. (Let me know if you are interested, and I'll continue to post them every Wednesday. How's that for accountability! Hopefully I have a taker or two...)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28 (NIV)

"I can do all things through him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13

"Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)