Mocha Club

Megan getting philosophical at an extremely late hour... bad combo

When we went to Ensenada, I had a moment where a bit of reality hit me. I wanted to post about it when we got back in town but never had the time to sit down and write. And honestly, I didn't know exactly what to write. I was afraid of sounding cliche or trite. Why should I come here and tell a story and simply say, "It was sad."

Poverty is a reality that I feel helpless against, and a bit foolish even talking about since I'm not really backing it with action. I don't know how to deal with these things, especially coming from such a wealthy country and being surrounded by all the greed in the midst of excess. Many people either turn their heads or adopt an attitude of, "it's not my problem." I've never been one to turn my head (purposefully), this is just where my heart goes.

So that said, I had forgotten about this little (unwritten) post until the memories of these people popped back into my head as I was reading about the Compassion trip in the Dominican Republic.

Here's my little story. The poverty and this experience is not near comparable to theirs... not the point... but it just reminded me of it & so I decided to come here & reflect on it for a second.

We were at "Papas & Beer", sitting outside enjoying some food & drinks. There were a lot of people trying to sell things-- handmade objects, chicle, etc. I enjoyed seeing the people, exchanging a few words (between my {very} broken Spanish & their broken English), and trying to find a momentary connection through a smile or the meeting of eyes. I wanted to buy something from each of them, but, of course, couldn't. But I wanted them to know that I could see them, and that they mattered to me at that moment. (I felt angry at the people who ignored them!)

As Kevin left for the restroom, I asked him how much money he had. He said something like, "$20, why?" And he saw my face & said, "you can't have it!" To which I confessed, "because I want to give it all away."

We had been a bit stressed out about him only having such little cash on him because he had forgotten to tell the credit union that we were travelling internationally so some places weren't accepting his card. When we were exiting the boat I told him that I couldn't believe he didn't get more cash from the cruiseline's ATM, and he reassured me that there would be ATMs in Mexico.

Suddenly, though, $20 sounded like a lot. These people were begging for a dollar! It could truely make a difference in someone's day- maybe help feed their family for a day or buy some shoes for their children. ...Or we could have a few more drinks and buy a souvenir with it.

There were two young boys, maybe 4-5 years old. They were both barefoot in the streets trying to sell some things-- weaving in and out of the tables in the outdoor sidewalk patio. At one point there was a man (a P&B customer) who gave one of boys two chicken wings. The boy disappeared momentarily, sharing his prize with his envious friend. A minute later, the boy came back to the table & pulled on the man's pantleg. The boy was looking up at the man and was gesturing with his hand to his mouth.

My heart sank.

The man wrapped up a handful of chicken wings in a napkin & gave it to the boy. He & his friend ran to the curbside and inhaled them.

They are hungry. They are barefoot, and 4 years old, wandering the streets, and hungry.

I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to look at these people with pity or make them feel like I felt sorry for them. I had to look away to keep the tears from coming, and when my husband returned from the restroom, I had to hide my eyes with my sunglasses as I quietly relayed the story to him.

In the meantime, the waiters at Papas & Beer were shooing the kids away-- yelling and chasing them like stray cats.

They don't want the customers to see the poverty. They don't want anybody to feel guilty for spending money at their establishment.

I have been given a heart for the needy (as previously written here.) Being a mother, though, this little experience struck me a bit differently. Like the song/video (below) says, "I saw my son in a little boy's eyes."

That is what I felt as I sat at the table and watched that sweet young barefoot child gesturing his hunger. It tore my heart up.

I thought of my children.

I thought of their mothers.

When discussing such issues, often people retort that we have hungry & needy people in our own country, and why don't we take care of our "own" people. To which my heart cries, who cares what country we were born in! We are all on this earth together, mankind, God's children. I have never been able to understand this thinking.

I've been on mission trips and visited poverty-stricken areas throughout my youth. I still remember their faces and many of their names. They are each in my heart, family! Their love and warmth towards us, their grateful hearts and the joy that they had from the Lord despite their circumstances... it was astounding to me. We met some wonderful people and experienced a unity that crossed boundaries of language, economics, race, geographics, age, & gender.

My heart aches to do something. But my (beloved) just thinks it's sweet of me. The end.

I cannot seem to draw any conclusions based on my experiences or my current situation.

Except that I don't want to turn my head.



A few more unconnected thoughts... (to remain undeveloped because it's late & my train of thought is quite circular right now!):

Since I can't do anything with our money, maybe I can find a way to use my time, and could it really make a difference? Is this possible?

I'm also reading (Mission of Motherhood) and working hard at ministering to & raising my children AND: (oh please help me!) keeping the home! This is my mission-field. I've only read a few chapters, but so far I love this book... challenging, uplifting, energizing, encouraging, and did I say challenging?!?

Can I do it all?!?

I feel so idle and tunnel-visioned sometimes! I know my efforts are first and foremost to serve the Lord, and then my husband & children. What a blessed and fulfilling and huge responsibility, too. Not underscoring that by any means.

But how frustrating it is when I find myself placing too much importance on the things in life (appearance, material things, etc). And how saddening when I realize that I have once again gotten caught up in the rat race. Not that we should sell all our things or feel guilty for having nice things-- but the excess is quite excessive dontcha think!?! I mean, who needs 300 channels on TV anyway?!? And the things should definitely not have any power in our hearts... for example, causing us to feel jealous when others have them or sad when we can't. Ahem, Miss Megan, who is dying for new couches and pictures for the walls! Oh, but I do want some!

It's difficult to reconcile these things, isn't it?!

These Compassion trips always do get me thinking & yearning!

I'm making myself tired. Good night.

"I Saw What I Saw"

This is my 2nd time seeing this, and both times it brought tears to my eyes. It was posted here today, but I also decided to embed the actual video to make it a little easier.




Sarah Groves, "I Saw What I Saw"



In case you don't know, there's another group of bloggers just finishing up a Compassion trip to the Dominican Republic. I haven't been able to follow it as closely as I did the last one, what with my self-imposed computer restrictions and all, but tonight I peeked at a few posts. (And now will be staying up late to finish my cleaning!) Here are a few posts that stood out to me. About the impact of sponsors, there are This one and This one by Melanie at BigMama and This sweet one by Shaun Groves as well as This little video. This little photo/story was also super sweet.

That's a lot of "THIS"-s. I can almost hear Austin saying "Dis!" "Dis!" in my head.

Click "Dis" to sponsor a child.

No more tears!

Okay, I promise after this post, I will lighten things up around here!!!

(Yes, I said *after* this post...)

I think yesterday I cried my tear ducts dry! With my tearful morning sister conversation (talking about everything from the children in Uganda, the deployed men & women in our military, and songs that make us cry.) And then more reading from the Compassion trip, and watching live coverage of the funeral, and then Kevin coming home lastnight after the funeral (when I gave him the tightest & longest hug I've given in a while.)

Oh yah, and there was that time when both boys were crying (Austin, hysterical for about an hour and Jake on-and-off waking up crying during that same hour)... yah, this mama shed a tear of momentary frustration/hopelessness during that time too! I think I even said outloud, "when is he going to be easier?!?" And then I stepped into the bathroom, got my bearings, whispered a prayer (I think it sounded like "God, help me!") and plugged on, just breathing through it. Like I said, my tear ducts have to be dry by now! So no tears today!

So if you want to see the sweetest thing ever, read THIS post (Shannon describing her face-to-face meeting with the child she's been sponsoring) and then watch THIS short video (of the meeting.) Oh my goodness! If you only have time for one, just do the video, but it is so powerful after reading her account of it and knowing her emotions and the story behind the little boy. If this doesn't tug at your heartstrings, I don't know what will! It's so, so precious!!!!!

This one guy gave an optional family offering to his kid's family, a gift of $20. It put a new ROOF over their home!!!! These children ALL know their sponsors names, and are so thankful to them. You have to read THIS post, so amazing.

I pay a monthly $32 to AKC for Daisy's Pet Insurance. Health Insurance for a dog. Not that she's not worth it, but she has other insurance now so I'm going to be stopping that anyways. And decided to put it towards a sponsorship. But it is funny (not ha ha funny), that I'm paying the same amount to insure my dog in case she gets stung by a bee or something, when the same amount will *change a childs life*. Yes, we are in a tight financial spot (as many people are these days), but I never see the money anyways, and won't miss it.

$32 per month, thats a few Starbucks. And it will buy a child medical care and education. I sound like an advertisement, but it's really just been amazing to see and hear from these REGULAR people! When you see commercials on TV, you never know how real it is, how much money goes to the child, if it really makes a difference. So I go with my first reaction, which is that of skepticism & DOUBT. But hearing from these normal people, with no conflict of interests or different agendas, it's just a very strong testament to the power we have to make a change, even if in just one person's life. Some of those kids will be released from poverty and go on to change others lives. (<-- short video of a child doing just that.)

I mainly just wanted to share Shannon's meeting (story & video), but ended up talking up the Compassion ministry, A . LOT. So there you have it. I will try not to post about this again, because if you are interested, I think I've provided enough links... THEIR words are the ones to be reading!

2/17 Edited to add: Here is a picture of our boy! Though I wanted a child from Uganda (since I've seen how things are over there), I saw that there were kids in other areas of Africa who had been waiting longer for a sponsor. I figured they were probably in similar situations, so I chose him. He's an 8-year-old orphan in Kenya, and it just so happens that he has the same birthday as Austin. I'm not sharing this for any reason other than that I'm so excited about it. (Can you tell?) To put it a bit more bluntly: I'm not pointing to myself, please don't think that. I'm excited about this program, this opportunity, and these children. It's about them, (and Him!), and the idea that we can make a difference to one of them.

(Tell your Compassion story here)

Beautiful people

Okay, I can't go any longer without posting about this.

I've been following the Compassion team's trip to Uganda for a few days now. (See "button" on my sidebar.) I've been anticipating it, as I've kept up with Shannon over at Rocks in my Dryer (as a reader). Another blog I read every now & then is Sophie's at BooMama. But since the team arrived, I've been reading about their experiences on almost all of their blogs. The pictures are incredible and their stories and words are so touching. I'm so thankful that they are sharing this with us!

(P.S. Underlined words are links. Click on them to see what I'm talking about.)

So I just can't escape it-- I'm thinking about, talking about, and dreaming about these people, these precious faces! My heart just aches because I want to be there! And because I love those kids. I get a knot in my throat and tears fill my eyes as I read every day.

Ever since I was TINY, I wanted to be a missionary. As a kid, when people would ask, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I always answered that I want to be a missionary, and my biggest dream was to go to Africa. My parents were told that I would be a missionary when I was just an infant, but they never told me until I expressed the desire. So why am I not over there?

I love my life, I wouldn't trade it! My job right now is to raise my children and be a good wife to my husband (obviously, since this is where I am!), but I wonder if I ever will get to do these things. Before we got married, Kevin told me that he would go with me if I went on medical mission trips, but it never happened. Which is my fault! I got caught up in living my little life and had distanced myself from the Lord, and now that I'm drawing nearer to God (thankyou!), I can't go. Not while my babies are so young!!

The few mission trips I did while in High School and College changed me forever... but for now, I am living vicariously through this team. And I might just find a way to sponsor a child or two, since I can't visit them or adopt one. Yes, adopt one. If you know me, you know that I want to have 5 kids, and I want to adopt. Kevin called me Angelina the other day, but that is absolutely NOT it!!! If I won the lotto, I would definitely carry out this dream. It's a good thing that I won't be winning any time soon, though, because Kevin says he wouldn't adopt OR have 5 kids! LOL

(We'll burn that bridge when we get there. Mark my words, if we come into millions, we *will* be having that conversation! haha)

I know some of you may say that these bloggers are just another "advertisement" to sponsor children. I don't care. I think it's a brilliant way to get the word out. Because it's for the children. I've always wanted to sponsor children and it's wonderful to see what sponsorship does for them. Even if sponsorship doesn't interest you, it's still very touching to see these pictures and read the stories, so if you can find the time, check them out!