The LOST lost tooth

My boy lost his first tooth! And then, he LOST it! I never even got to see it! He's so cute & excited- we threw together a last-minute note asking the tooth fairy to still come
 

First Camping Trip

Andrew 5 wk (4 5/7) 9/8/09



This was our first tent-camping trip since having kids. We went close to home just in case the nighttimes weren't going well, but it was actually great! We all enjoyed ourselves so much!!!

Andrew in the wrap... our favorite place!

Brother hugs, and ring-around-the-rosies



Jake & Andrew in the tent



The boys LOVED the tent!

The pictures below were taken 9/4/09. We just threw some food together and picked up a few bundles of wood for a BBQ/Bonfire down at the beach one night. It was Kevin's idea- I love that guy!!

Andrew & Kevin, Jake & Alyssa

9/4/09 Andrew is 4 weeks old here. (4 1/7)

A pictorial of our lives...

Our days are full of:



And:




And this is how it makes us feel:




Disclaimer: All those stickers are the times Jake sat on the potty for a minute "trying" ... Which means all of the actual "going" has been mopped up off the floor between the "tries". We'll get there eventually...

Also, neither of the houses in the photo are ours but I made sure the addresses were covered. The sign and the over-watered lawn, however, are ours! (Writing on the sign has been whited-out, but basically, it's a FOR SALE sign! Which has kept us quite busy, what with the keeping the house spotless in the midst of life with 2 toddlers! And being pregnant on top of it, you can understand why the last picture is perfect for describing how we feel at the end of the day! And sometimes the beginning, and middle!)

We're doing great though. The boys are adorable and the itty-bitty is growing stronger every day. At 17 1/7 weeks I'm already 'showing', though my baby-belly is a lot softer than I would like it... which means it's more belly than baby!!! But what're ya gonna do? Just resolve to lose it at the end of it all, that's about it! I hope it comes off as easy as it did last time. I can't believe my due date is in just 160 days, according to that little counter on my sidebar. Doesn't that make it sound much closer than it is!?!

Well I better get back to the kids and continue flitting around the house cleaning. You wouldn't believe the mess they made over the last 10 minutes that I actually spent sitting down! (An overturned bucket of cars, a scattered pile of papers from off the desk, and the newly emptied hamper contents. Little tornadoes!)

Have a beautiful day! We're going to head out to the park. I'm debating whether to keep Jake in his cloth "big boy pants" or do a pull-up. I think cloth, for consistency. But maybe I should line his carseat with plastic!

Cause & Effect

So remember how I mentioned that my thirteen month old is loving to climb on things lately. Namely, things with wheels. And how it's really not abnormal for his age, but that for me, it is.

Well, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he took a tumble and actually hurt himself. (For those of you who don't know, Austin is a tough kid, and even if his fingers are closed in a door, he'll just 'suck it up'.)

But I saw this one happen in slow motion. It was my first, "does he need stitches?" moment. I'm sure it won't be my last, being I'm a mommy of boys!

He was on Jake's tricycle in the living room. Luckily he was sitting and not doing this:

And the trike tipped over, landing his face right on the unfortunately placed glass door to the entertainment center. (Oh! I wish I had put away the DVDs and closed that door when I had realized Jake got into them an hour prior!) And how I wish I would have realized that the foam corner protector on the glass had slipped a few centimeters, completely exposing the glass corner! My heart stopped for a moment as I instinctively jumped up and ran to him, it looked like his eye hit the corner of that glass!

So I can hear the voices of my more seasoned mommas telling me it's okay, it's no big deal, its nothing-- we'll have many more times like this in the years ahead. But this was my first!

I knew it wasn't a big deal even as I fumbled into our room to wake Kevin, saying, "Look, honey! He has a gash! Look, it's gaping!" I knew we didn't need to go to the ER, even as my heart was racing and I asked uncertainly, "Does he need stitches? Does he need a tetanus shot?" And I almost laughed aloud at myself when I thought, "Is this gonna scar?!?"

I'm a nurse, but only one or two days a week. All the other days, I'm mom. All that nurse stuff goes out of my brain, and I get that crazy mommy-adrenaline and uncertainty. Luckily I came to my senses and was able to render proper first aid to my poor little 'un. Even now, I'm thinking, "could it have been a little deeper than I thought? Did I look close enough? He was wiggling so much, how deep was it really? I didn't see a bottom to it... Should I go look?" CRAZINESS!

Now, don't laugh--- here's the "gash". It's not much of a gash, I'll give you that, but it was gaping a bit. Quite a slice. Now it's all cleaned up, dressed, & a bit swollen, but Austin doesn't even know it's there.

A safe distraction (as long as the lid stays on) ... yumm, Hydrocortisone.

In the background you can see the plastic bag I found under the sink with my first aid supplies... very fancy & organized! As I rummaged through the bag I was shouting into the bedroom, "What the heck, I'm a nurse and I don't even have any sterile gauze!" To which Kevin replied, "Just use soap and water!" What? Are you kidding!?!? No way!!! heehee Not when I have all this cool medical stuff I can use!!! Okay, so I guess I am still a nurse when I'm off-duty.

I ended up reinforcing the top steri-strip with a longer one that extends behind his ear- to put a little traction on the skin and pull it together. Sometimes I think steri-strips are better than stitches. If only I had some Tincture of Benzoin. Or even better, Dermabond!

It's been a busy week!

First off, Austin turned ONE yesterday!!!

We had a really nice family party. We have some funny birthday traditions developing, though. As it turns out, birthdays have seemed to have the following things in common: illness and broken cameras.


Which translates into unthoughtful and untimely blog-posts, with no photos!


I do want to just say that besides my being sick the night before and evening-of, I felt mostly good during the party and it was SO wonderful to spend the afternoon with some of my favorite people on the planet! We had to change locations at the last minute because of rain, but it worked out well because the rain stopped before the party and we were able to spend the day in the backyard (as opposed to our tiny living room!)



The following is mostly for my record~* (Sorry to bore you with a list of milestones!)


Austin says a few words... His first word (besides "Mama" & "Dada") was last Saturday (10/25), and it was "TRUCK"! He held up a toy truck and repeated the word over and over, in his cute little raspy & spirited voice. Everything he does is with gusto, even when he talks. His words and sounds are usually very loud and actually quivering with energy. Literally.


I'm not surprised that his first word was 'truck'. Afterall, Jake is obsessed wth trucks! When we pray at night Jake sometimes thanks Jesus for: "Dada's Truck", "BIG Truck", and "Papa's (Grandpa's) White Truck."


Incidentally, Jake's first word was "duck". They rhyme! How fun is that!?! (I know, not everybody is as easily entertained as I am.) He had a rubber duckie & did the same thing, holding it up and saying "duck". I LOVE this age!! (I do love them all.)


Back to Austin, though. This past week since that first word, he's been testing out more and more words and sounds. "Ba" = banana & bottle. (He started that a few weeks ago.) "Dis" = "this" (his 2nd word) and "Dat" = "that" (his 3rd word), both are often said while pointing with an open hand. His 4th word was "up" which he just started saying a few days ago.

He has 6 teeth, 4 on top and 2 on bottom. He's finally sleeping through the night (for about 3-4 weeks now) and on his birthday we moved him into his crib in Jake's room (one last time, and finally successful). He loves it and goes to sleep easier than he *ever* has. Hallelujah! Jake has also been staying in his toddler bed for about 3 weeks. {{insert high-pitched, operatic heavenly chorus}}


My sweet baby Austin... you are beautiful. Inside and out! I love your spirit and your energy, I love your sweet snuggles and your squeals and giggles. You are such a precious and beloved gift from our Lord. He gave you to us at the perfect time and has changed our lives (for the better!) in the process. You are such a blessing. Sweet buggie-boo, I love you unspeakably! I pray that I can be a good Mommy to you and that you will know & love our Lord early and intimately. I pray that He will guard your little heart, body, mind and spirit. God bless you, bug-bug. Happy, happy birthday!

Hallelujah!

Jake is sleeping in his toddler bed!!!!!

I'm not getting excited. I'm not going to jump up and down! I'm not I'm not I'm not!!!

But I can't help the excited butterflies in my tummy, which I'm trying so hard to contain!

See, we weren't going to attempt the crib-to-bed transition again until we get back from our trip (since any new sleep habits will most-likely be lost by the time we get back), but alas, both boys are in the midst of "sleep training" just a week before we leave. Brilliant, huh.

This morning in my sleepy-waking-up daze, I noticed that my alarm clock (aka Jake's cry) seemed to sound like it was moving. As I laid there, eyes tightly shut and fighting the early morning as I always do, I felt my heart drop as I suddenly sat up in bed. I said aloud, "It sounds like Jake is moving!" I listened intently again & confirmed that something wasn't right. The cry wasn't coming from the diagonal left, it was indeed coming from the diagonal right! What a start, what a shock, and what an unplanned can of worms he just opened- by discovering how to climb out of his crib!

Or so I thought.

Think.

I don't know. I'll have to tell you tomorrow. And in 2 weeks when we get back from vacation.

But the butterflies I have right now... that would be because I expected a fiasco. I read all day about this transition. (Trying to find ways to avoid what happened last time, trying to find positive methods, gentle methods, tricks, treats, bits & bops, anything!)

But it wasn't a fiasco. No sirree, Bob! (hat tip to my sissy.) I got a sleepy toddler who smiled a quiet smile at me, whispered his prayer (next topic & more happy butterflies), and who stayed in bed and slept when I left the room. WHAT!!??!!?? Are you kidding me!?!?! I am shocked!!! And so pleasantly surprised.

But like I said, I'll tell you tomorrow. The night is young!

The floor is padded. And I'm ready.

Okay, so about the prayer...
3 nights ago he said his first prayer!!! He whispers it, and it's so sweet!

"JeeJuh" (Jesus)
"DehDoo JeeJuh" (Thank you Jesus)
"IIIIIIIIII JeeJuh" (I love you Jesus)
"AhMn" (Amen)

(p.s. that's how he says I love you, just a long & endearing IIIIIIII, but you can see it all over his face & hear it in his voice. He really is a sweet-heart.) The first night he said his prayer, my smile was so big that he said "AhMn" 3 times! Aww!

The last thing I wanted to add to this post is something I just read online that I didn't know. Thought I'd share. It's about organics & purely informational.

We try our best to eat organic fruits & veggies (especially those without hard skins or those known to be more pesticide-laden) and always organic milk & eggs. I've been doing this a while, for as long as I can remember buying food, & don't talk much about it just because I think people should do whatever they want & I don't want anybody to ever think I'm being hoity-toity or anything. I have my own reasons, I am just doing what I think is best for my family & situation.

Which is why I don't bring it up! Even that sentence could sound bad if it's said to someone who doesn't buy organic! A few months ago, a close friend of mine randomly bombarded me & started spewing all these facts about hormone-free milk and organics and feeding cows, etc, trying to prove that organic wasn't 'that' important and (I think) to justify her decision to not buy organic. I didn't bring the topic up. I definitely would never want her (or anyone) to feel a need to justify anything or compare. I love talking about stuff, learning from others, sharing information, whatever. But this was a bombardment! I have reasons, and I had answers to all of her points! But I sorta bit my tongue because I was afraid if I "defended" my reasons, that she would think I was saying that her way was wrong or bad for her child or something. I didn't want to play into the competition she seems to have started between the two of us. Whose way is right? This is just one of the many 'competitions' she's created: whose child does what first, who loses baby weight first, whose house is cleaner, ahh! Why would this cross her mind- why is there a need to compare anything!? It absolutely makes me crazy! Let's just BE. Be friends, hang out, live it together (no matter who weighs what or whose kid is happiest, what does that matter?) Wooh, venting! Sorry!

So back to the organics, I've always felt that mine is an informed decision, an educated decision even. I've read in accredited medical journals and educational material (CEUs: continuing education units), and have weighed the pros & cons (hello, cost!), and I still feel that it's worth it to me. Anyways, I'm absolutely not strict about it. I just get what is available & if we're eating somewhere else (which is not often) I honestly don't even think about it. Never crosses my mind unless we're eating strawberries, eek! (Someone said you might as well drink pesticides if you eat non-0rganic strawberries, and I can't get that image out of my head now! LOL)

But here's my point: my way of sparing costs is that I don't buy organic meat (because that's ridiculously expensive & some thing's gotta give!) I want to! I've thought about it a lot. If I can't be vegetarian, then I want to buy free-range, organic-fed. But meat is so expensive (to me) as it is. Every time I buy meat (without fail), I always hesitate. It's too expensive. Regular stuff, the cheapest stuff. It's hard for me to swallow. So I haven't taken the step to add the "organic" cost on top of the already high cost of meat. But tonight I read this:

"Non-organic meats have far higher concentrations of pesticides than all of the fruits and vegetables. And the highest concentration of pesticides is actually in non-organic butter.
So if you can only buy one organic food item, it should be butter. Next priority would be meats and once those are addressed, you will want to focus on the fruit and vegetable list above."

This was from Dr Mercola's website, and HERE's a link to the article. It's really good because it says which veggies/fruit are highest & lowest in pesticide concentration so you can prioritize which are more worth the 'splurge'.

Kinda puts perspective on my thinking, though. I guess I had it backwards, even though I think I've got such an informed decision! Next trip, butter & meat it is. Maybe I'll sacrifice some ice cream or some other non-essential grocery item to make up for the cost.

Something that freaked me out big-time when I was pregnant with Jake was when a study was done on human milk & there were substantial levels of pesticides in it.

It's the same kind of freak-out I had when I learned about the cancerous tumors that had the African monkey virus in them (on autopsy) in people who had never been anywhere near an African brown monkey. It was from a vaccine (given decades prior), as vaccines are grown in serum & organs of other animals!!! And this particular vaccine was grown in African brown monkey plasma... and now found in tumors... Wrap your mind around that!

(Inoculated with an unknown virus, {how do we know if there are any other unknown viruses, we'll never know, because they're unknown!}, protected from {fill in the blank}, culminated in cancer.) Oh vaccines... I could go on forever. It's the toughest decision I've encountered TO DATE in my whole TWO YEARS of motherhood. I've been reading statistics, case studies, ingredients & processing procedures... let me tell you, no amount of information makes this issue any clearer.

I have rambled SO much in this post that I'm cutting myself off!!! Sorry!!! Just wanted to share that organic info because I had no idea about the butter & meat!

Next post will be shorter & sweeter! :)

Soaking it all in!

This is such sweetness!

My sleeping baby:

and his quiet little smile when he gets a mommy kiss!

Awww!!!! I love life!!!!! lol

And here is a cell-phone-photo of Jake during a swim lesson. He is so cute!

This pic was taken last week after I was ignoring my boys for a few minutes while I was on the phone... I glanced over to see Austin (gasp!) standing up!!!!!! Here's how you know he's my 2nd & not my 1st: instead of running over there to protect him from falling, I instead ran and grabbed my camera! (P.S. he did fall, and luckily I was right there to 'ease' the fall a bit. he's learning quickly to stick his butt out and land on his bottom. he's now crusing & is the most happy when he's standing upright)

Here's some family time at the park, and (below) another development in Austin's amazing little life. His military scoot is progressing into a crawl! He's so strong, already trying to stand up without holding on to anything! I'm curious to see when he'll walk. It seems all of these (movement) milestones are coming up really quickly!!! While some of the others, like sleeping, ahem!, are taking a bit longer!

Below is a sweet brother picture, but Jake isn't pictured. You can see the interaction, though. So cute! These boys are so cute, I love watching them interact together. Jake likes to make Austin laugh. Austin likes to watch Jake's every move. We're teaching Jake about sharing and taking turns, and I have a feeling this will be a process that spans over the next many years!

P.S. I know the pic below looks shocking. I *know* because when I glanced over & saw him perched on the edge of the boat, I almost gasped! But then they explained that the bar of the railing was between his legs so he couldn't fall in, and Grandpa had his hand on him almost the whole time. I had to explain that so you don't think he was just balancing there!

So often I feel tired and sometimes I even feel bothered by the constant pulling of my pant legs when I'm trying to get my ever-important things done. I get trapped in a self-seeking spot where I feel like "me-time" is so important. And then I am brought back to my senses. These kids... they are precious. And I am absolutely honored & humbled by the opportunity to be their mommy every.day. I take such joy in this position, and have been seriously thinking about my highest (& most lofty!) goal, which is to teach these sweet children about God. And by the realization that they learn through watching how I live out my life, not necesarily by what I tell them. When I 'mother' them, when I discipline them (or withhold discipline and instead comfort them through it), am I reflecting God's grace? That is my goal! Do I maintain a positive outlook in life? Do I seek God first? These are thoughts that I want to keep in the forefront of my mind.

I once searched for parenting and discipline books, which was an overwhelming task in itself, and in the midst of piles of books, I felt these words in my heart: Just Love Them. Just Love Them! Those words soften my heart & bring clarity to my mind in times of frustration.

These are just some of the goings-on in the R household and my ramblings. I'm trying to soak in all of this. My baby's soft skin & baby rolls, the boys' laughter, Jake's little voice as he pronounces new words and strings together little sentences. I want to hold on to every second! The years go by so fast and I don't want to forget any of this or take it for granted. Ahh, my cup runneth over!

So enough mushy stuff.

Here's awarding some "good-mommy" points for taking the boys to the pediatrician for their well-checks. haha I went to my old Doctor, and it was soooo refreshing- he is so wonderful!!! So here are the updates:

Jake (25 months)

Wt: 25 lb, 8 in (20%)

Lgth: 35 1/2 in (75%)

Head: 49 cm (50-55%)

Austin (9 months)

Wt: 23 lb, 1 oz (90%)

Lgth: 30 1/2 in (97%)

Head: 45 1/2 in (65-70%)

And the Blog has Become a Photo Album / Baby Book...

Austin's first Baseball Game, 8 1/2 months. (Jake's was ~ 5 1/2 weeks!) Both boys were so good and Jake really loved it. He liked to say "Boom!" with Grandma when the batters hit the ball. He also loved seeing the fireworks and seeing the freeway & choo choo train from our seats.

Below are some pics of family playtime in the backyard.





JAKE SAYS/DOES:
I taught Jake his middle & last names today. He says it soooo cute!!! He says "NEM" (name) "JAYt PARTa" (Jake Parker), and I won't put our last name here, but he says it correctly except with a "W" in front instead of an "R". A few days ago he was calling himself "BeBe Jack" (Baby Jake) when looking at his baby pictures with me. He got some puzzles for his birthday and mastered them almost immediately. He likes driving his cars up & down his (& our) limbs, crashing them, & stashing them in his little backpack. Every letter is still "B", though he might have learned "O". And, although every color used to be "blue", now he alternates between black, white, and blue. He labels every car & truck with a color as he points them out, but he's only correct about 1/3 of the time! (He loves "Tra Tdruks" & "Two Tdruks", aka: trash trucks & tow trucks) His favorite number is 2, of course because he is now two years old. (When asked how old he is, he holds up 4 or 5 fingers & exclaims TOOO!) He likes to count his fingers (while pointing to each one): "Two" "Two" "Two" "Two" "FIVE!"

AUSTIN SAYS/DOES:
He babbles lots... making dada and mama noises as well as the typical gaga. Austin crawled for the first time today! He's been scooting (military crawl) for a while now. He also pulled himself up on my leg & on a toy, but it wasn't very stable & he doesn't realize that he has to hold on. I don't think it counts! He LOVES standing up and walking (with help), he loves eating and grabbing everything within reach. And he's loving Peek-A-Boo and splashing in water lately. Austin does not like to be alone, he'll scoot around following us wherever we go in the house. He also wants to do everything Jake does. He'll bite or grab anything in reach & he won't let go!

There are my updates. I've been so bad at the baby books, I think I have Austin's last 3 months to do and Jake's 2-year section to complete. Had to put them here so next year when I actually get around to it, I'll have a record!

Have a great weekend, friends ~ xo

Playing Catch Up

I'm recovering!

I've spent the last week being as BUSY as anything! Working way too much, though feeling guilty that even my busy, long workdays actually rejuvenate me a bit. I love my home. I love my boys and my wonderful husband. We are so incredibly blessed, beyond measure. Though a day away (even if it is at work) is sometimes in order.

Today I worked out at the park with my sister-in-law. One of my favorite parts of working out is the stretching afterwards. Sometimes I spend more time doing that than the actual workout. (Ha! "Sometimes." I say that as if I work out often! That should be past tense. Because it's been a long time since I had a good, real workout.) I also love, love, love doing mat work. Pilates, abs, yoga. I love it. It makes me feel like a dancer again. But today was a reality check for my ego. I'm used to being the girl who sits in front during yoga, pilates & dance classes. It's been that long since I took class.

Today, I was the girl who sits in the back. Whose form is bad. Who has to eventually modify towards the end because I just can't do the full extension without my lower back arching. Ugh! I told my sister-in-law that the quitter in me wanted to say I won't come back because I used to be so good, but now I'm not. But that's ridiculous! I want my strong core back! (I was pleasantly surprised with some aspects of my performance, but overall, I get a huge "needs improvement")

All I was trying to say, though, is that the time spent stretching & just breathing and being in-tune with your body is the most wonderful thing ever. Then I got on a tangent. I wonder why I don't do this more. I never thought I would be so 'out-of-tune' with my body. I never thought that there would be a time when I wasn't dancing! It's a little funny that most people want to make extra money so they can be home with their kids, but I want to make extra money so I can hire a babysitter for a few hours a week so I can dance & go to the gym. That is my goal. Just a few hours! Not that I don't want to be here! I'm just feeling the need to take care of myself! And I'm vowing to be better at it!

So in the meantime, (because the extra money thing, well, I'm not quite there yet), I may go back to my old ritual. First thing in the morning, going outside for a quick stretch and some before-bedtime mat work. Will my kids allow this? Will I be disciplined to rise before them & make time for this? Will I continue the workouts? I'll keep you posted. I hope the answer is yes. Though sometimes I'm not a do-er. Yah, bad. Workin' on it.

About dancing... if you watch (my favorite show) So You Think You Can Dance, just tell me one thing. Weren't you shocked that Kherrington & Gev got cut!?!? I love Comfort, but Kherrington is so talented! And Gev, well he's just a cutie and wasn't his solo amazing tonight? (Lastnight for you, Tonight for me, Thankyou TiVo.) Did anybody else cry through the entire Ava Maria performance? I LOVE Mia Michaels' choreography!!! Almost all of her pieces bring me to tears!

So I'm going to narrate the up & coming zillion pictures.

1- Austin is done with his DOC Band! He's also getting on all fours and rocking back and forth a lot (pictured below)- the typical pre-crawl exercise. Jake never did this, and he crawled late (& not for very long.) Austin does scoot everywhere, and I'm SO done with this, because the fronts of his shirts are getting so dirty! (I don't remember this with Jake. Does this mean that I'm slacking off on my cleaning? Or I'm allowing more tummy-floor contact because I'm not as neurotic?)

Austin getting his final measurements at Cranial Tech. The before/after is amazing.

2- Here are a few photos from our recent Sea World trip. This was a little spur-of-the-moment trip, just me & the boys. It was fun, but we did have a few moments that are worthy of an entire post of their own! I think next time I will be sure to have an equal number of adults to children.

As we were walking by the Shamu 'holding tank' behind the stage-- the "Shamu's" suddenly jumped in the air! Jake ran over there and started exclaiming, "DUMP! DUMP!" (AKA: "jump", in jake-speak). His excitement was so cute, and I think I was just as excited- I've never been that close to a jumping Shamu!

3- We spent an afternoon on the boat with my in-laws recently. Kevin and I have usually one day off together per week. It's a treasured day, but is often filled with busy stuff-- errands, taking turns trying to catch up on rest, chores, etc. It was so nice to just relax. I've said this before, but there's no place I'd rather be than on the water. It is so peaceful. That is where I went when I was in labor. haha (In my mind.) Anyways, this was the boys' first time in a boat. They were so sleepy that they just relaxed & didn't get too excited, but we all really enjoyed it.

Jake looking at the seals. He also got to watch Grandma reel in a Barracuda. And he touched the little fishies (Anchovies) in the holding tank. He also loved watching the pelicans rush our boat as Grandpa emptied the holding tank before going in.

How precious is this!?! Austin smiling at Grandma

And (below) Jake just barely waking up from a nap on Momma's lap. Sweet!

4- Austin meets Macchiato at my sister's house.

5- My mom & I (and Jake asleep on her lap) at the beach lastnight. (We barbecued at La Jolla Shores... my old stomping ground!!! I forgot how absolutely stunning it is there.)

And my sis & I

Sorry for the long "me" post! I do think these little kiddies are cuter than buttons (hee!) (Thus the zillion pics) Have a beautiful weekend! Hug those people you love. If my hubby were here, I would be doing just that. We miss him in our home. My heart goes to those with even more separation from their spouses (& families), Those amazing men & women serving in our military & their families holding down the fort at home. From my little life here, I know that it's not easy doing it on your own much of the time and even our (small in comparison) separations are hard. When I complain or start to think it's hard, I think of those who have it even harder than I. You are amazing. You are amazing. ;)