I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord
"While I’m Waiting "
Psalm 5:3, 27:14, 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 40:1, Isaiah 30:18, Lamentations 3:24
by John Waller
UPDATED 4/18/11 BY THE WAY, I'M STILL WAITING ON THE LORD, BUT HE IS FAITHFUL!!! HE IS AT WORK!!!! PRAISE BE TO HIS NAME!!!
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
7.10.2010
8.15.2008
Hallelujah!
Jake is sleeping in his toddler bed!!!!!
I'm not getting excited. I'm not going to jump up and down! I'm not I'm not I'm not!!!
But I can't help the excited butterflies in my tummy, which I'm trying so hard to contain!
See, we weren't going to attempt the crib-to-bed transition again until we get back from our trip (since any new sleep habits will most-likely be lost by the time we get back), but alas, both boys are in the midst of "sleep training" just a week before we leave. Brilliant, huh.
This morning in my sleepy-waking-up daze, I noticed that my alarm clock (aka Jake's cry) seemed to sound like it was moving. As I laid there, eyes tightly shut and fighting the early morning as I always do, I felt my heart drop as I suddenly sat up in bed. I said aloud, "It sounds like Jake is moving!" I listened intently again & confirmed that something wasn't right. The cry wasn't coming from the diagonal left, it was indeed coming from the diagonal right! What a start, what a shock, and what an unplanned can of worms he just opened- by discovering how to climb out of his crib!
Or so I thought.
Think.
I don't know. I'll have to tell you tomorrow. And in 2 weeks when we get back from vacation.
But the butterflies I have right now... that would be because I expected a fiasco. I read all day about this transition. (Trying to find ways to avoid what happened last time, trying to find positive methods, gentle methods, tricks, treats, bits & bops, anything!)
But it wasn't a fiasco. No sirree, Bob! (hat tip to my sissy.) I got a sleepy toddler who smiled a quiet smile at me, whispered his prayer (next topic & more happy butterflies), and who stayed in bed and slept when I left the room. WHAT!!??!!?? Are you kidding me!?!?! I am shocked!!! And so pleasantly surprised.
But like I said, I'll tell you tomorrow. The night is young!
The floor is padded. And I'm ready.
Okay, so about the prayer...
3 nights ago he said his first prayer!!! He whispers it, and it's so sweet!
"JeeJuh" (Jesus)
"DehDoo JeeJuh" (Thank you Jesus)
"IIIIIIIIII JeeJuh" (I love you Jesus)
"AhMn" (Amen)
(p.s. that's how he says I love you, just a long & endearing IIIIIIII, but you can see it all over his face & hear it in his voice. He really is a sweet-heart.) The first night he said his prayer, my smile was so big that he said "AhMn" 3 times! Aww!
The last thing I wanted to add to this post is something I just read online that I didn't know. Thought I'd share. It's about organics & purely informational.
We try our best to eat organic fruits & veggies (especially those without hard skins or those known to be more pesticide-laden) and always organic milk & eggs. I've been doing this a while, for as long as I can remember buying food, & don't talk much about it just because I think people should do whatever they want & I don't want anybody to ever think I'm being hoity-toity or anything. I have my own reasons, I am just doing what I think is best for my family & situation.
Which is why I don't bring it up! Even that sentence could sound bad if it's said to someone who doesn't buy organic! A few months ago, a close friend of mine randomly bombarded me & started spewing all these facts about hormone-free milk and organics and feeding cows, etc, trying to prove that organic wasn't 'that' important and (I think) to justify her decision to not buy organic. I didn't bring the topic up. I definitely would never want her (or anyone) to feel a need to justify anything or compare. I love talking about stuff, learning from others, sharing information, whatever. But this was a bombardment! I have reasons, and I had answers to all of her points! But I sorta bit my tongue because I was afraid if I "defended" my reasons, that she would think I was saying that her way was wrong or bad for her child or something. I didn't want to play into the competition she seems to have started between the two of us. Whose way is right? This is just one of the many 'competitions' she's created: whose child does what first, who loses baby weight first, whose house is cleaner, ahh! Why would this cross her mind- why is there a need to compare anything!? It absolutely makes me crazy! Let's just BE. Be friends, hang out, live it together (no matter who weighs what or whose kid is happiest, what does that matter?) Wooh, venting! Sorry!
So back to the organics, I've always felt that mine is an informed decision, an educated decision even. I've read in accredited medical journals and educational material (CEUs: continuing education units), and have weighed the pros & cons (hello, cost!), and I still feel that it's worth it to me. Anyways, I'm absolutely not strict about it. I just get what is available & if we're eating somewhere else (which is not often) I honestly don't even think about it. Never crosses my mind unless we're eating strawberries, eek! (Someone said you might as well drink pesticides if you eat non-0rganic strawberries, and I can't get that image out of my head now! LOL)
But here's my point: my way of sparing costs is that I don't buy organic meat (because that's ridiculously expensive & some thing's gotta give!) I want to! I've thought about it a lot. If I can't be vegetarian, then I want to buy free-range, organic-fed. But meat is so expensive (to me) as it is. Every time I buy meat (without fail), I always hesitate. It's too expensive. Regular stuff, the cheapest stuff. It's hard for me to swallow. So I haven't taken the step to add the "organic" cost on top of the already high cost of meat. But tonight I read this:
"Non-organic meats have far higher concentrations of pesticides than all of the fruits and vegetables. And the highest concentration of pesticides is actually in non-organic butter.
So if you can only buy one organic food item, it should be butter. Next priority would be meats and once those are addressed, you will want to focus on the fruit and vegetable list above."
This was from Dr Mercola's website, and HERE's a link to the article. It's really good because it says which veggies/fruit are highest & lowest in pesticide concentration so you can prioritize which are more worth the 'splurge'.
Kinda puts perspective on my thinking, though. I guess I had it backwards, even though I think I've got such an informed decision! Next trip, butter & meat it is. Maybe I'll sacrifice some ice cream or some other non-essential grocery item to make up for the cost.
Something that freaked me out big-time when I was pregnant with Jake was when a study was done on human milk & there were substantial levels of pesticides in it.
It's the same kind of freak-out I had when I learned about the cancerous tumors that had the African monkey virus in them (on autopsy) in people who had never been anywhere near an African brown monkey. It was from a vaccine (given decades prior), as vaccines are grown in serum & organs of other animals!!! And this particular vaccine was grown in African brown monkey plasma... and now found in tumors... Wrap your mind around that!
(Inoculated with an unknown virus, {how do we know if there are any other unknown viruses, we'll never know, because they're unknown!}, protected from {fill in the blank}, culminated in cancer.) Oh vaccines... I could go on forever. It's the toughest decision I've encountered TO DATE in my whole TWO YEARS of motherhood. I've been reading statistics, case studies, ingredients & processing procedures... let me tell you, no amount of information makes this issue any clearer.
I have rambled SO much in this post that I'm cutting myself off!!! Sorry!!! Just wanted to share that organic info because I had no idea about the butter & meat!
Next post will be shorter & sweeter! :)
I'm not getting excited. I'm not going to jump up and down! I'm not I'm not I'm not!!!
But I can't help the excited butterflies in my tummy, which I'm trying so hard to contain!
See, we weren't going to attempt the crib-to-bed transition again until we get back from our trip (since any new sleep habits will most-likely be lost by the time we get back), but alas, both boys are in the midst of "sleep training" just a week before we leave. Brilliant, huh.
This morning in my sleepy-waking-up daze, I noticed that my alarm clock (aka Jake's cry) seemed to sound like it was moving. As I laid there, eyes tightly shut and fighting the early morning as I always do, I felt my heart drop as I suddenly sat up in bed. I said aloud, "It sounds like Jake is moving!" I listened intently again & confirmed that something wasn't right. The cry wasn't coming from the diagonal left, it was indeed coming from the diagonal right! What a start, what a shock, and what an unplanned can of worms he just opened- by discovering how to climb out of his crib!
Or so I thought.
Think.
I don't know. I'll have to tell you tomorrow. And in 2 weeks when we get back from vacation.
But the butterflies I have right now... that would be because I expected a fiasco. I read all day about this transition. (Trying to find ways to avoid what happened last time, trying to find positive methods, gentle methods, tricks, treats, bits & bops, anything!)
But it wasn't a fiasco. No sirree, Bob! (hat tip to my sissy.) I got a sleepy toddler who smiled a quiet smile at me, whispered his prayer (next topic & more happy butterflies), and who stayed in bed and slept when I left the room. WHAT!!??!!?? Are you kidding me!?!?! I am shocked!!! And so pleasantly surprised.
But like I said, I'll tell you tomorrow. The night is young!
The floor is padded. And I'm ready.
Okay, so about the prayer...
3 nights ago he said his first prayer!!! He whispers it, and it's so sweet!
"JeeJuh" (Jesus)
"DehDoo JeeJuh" (Thank you Jesus)
"IIIIIIIIII JeeJuh" (I love you Jesus)
"AhMn" (Amen)
(p.s. that's how he says I love you, just a long & endearing IIIIIIII, but you can see it all over his face & hear it in his voice. He really is a sweet-heart.) The first night he said his prayer, my smile was so big that he said "AhMn" 3 times! Aww!
The last thing I wanted to add to this post is something I just read online that I didn't know. Thought I'd share. It's about organics & purely informational.
We try our best to eat organic fruits & veggies (especially those without hard skins or those known to be more pesticide-laden) and always organic milk & eggs. I've been doing this a while, for as long as I can remember buying food, & don't talk much about it just because I think people should do whatever they want & I don't want anybody to ever think I'm being hoity-toity or anything. I have my own reasons, I am just doing what I think is best for my family & situation.
Which is why I don't bring it up! Even that sentence could sound bad if it's said to someone who doesn't buy organic! A few months ago, a close friend of mine randomly bombarded me & started spewing all these facts about hormone-free milk and organics and feeding cows, etc, trying to prove that organic wasn't 'that' important and (I think) to justify her decision to not buy organic. I didn't bring the topic up. I definitely would never want her (or anyone) to feel a need to justify anything or compare. I love talking about stuff, learning from others, sharing information, whatever. But this was a bombardment! I have reasons, and I had answers to all of her points! But I sorta bit my tongue because I was afraid if I "defended" my reasons, that she would think I was saying that her way was wrong or bad for her child or something. I didn't want to play into the competition she seems to have started between the two of us. Whose way is right? This is just one of the many 'competitions' she's created: whose child does what first, who loses baby weight first, whose house is cleaner, ahh! Why would this cross her mind- why is there a need to compare anything!? It absolutely makes me crazy! Let's just BE. Be friends, hang out, live it together (no matter who weighs what or whose kid is happiest, what does that matter?) Wooh, venting! Sorry!
So back to the organics, I've always felt that mine is an informed decision, an educated decision even. I've read in accredited medical journals and educational material (CEUs: continuing education units), and have weighed the pros & cons (hello, cost!), and I still feel that it's worth it to me. Anyways, I'm absolutely not strict about it. I just get what is available & if we're eating somewhere else (which is not often) I honestly don't even think about it. Never crosses my mind unless we're eating strawberries, eek! (Someone said you might as well drink pesticides if you eat non-0rganic strawberries, and I can't get that image out of my head now! LOL)
But here's my point: my way of sparing costs is that I don't buy organic meat (because that's ridiculously expensive & some thing's gotta give!) I want to! I've thought about it a lot. If I can't be vegetarian, then I want to buy free-range, organic-fed. But meat is so expensive (to me) as it is. Every time I buy meat (without fail), I always hesitate. It's too expensive. Regular stuff, the cheapest stuff. It's hard for me to swallow. So I haven't taken the step to add the "organic" cost on top of the already high cost of meat. But tonight I read this:
"Non-organic meats have far higher concentrations of pesticides than all of the fruits and vegetables. And the highest concentration of pesticides is actually in non-organic butter.
So if you can only buy one organic food item, it should be butter. Next priority would be meats and once those are addressed, you will want to focus on the fruit and vegetable list above."
This was from Dr Mercola's website, and HERE's a link to the article. It's really good because it says which veggies/fruit are highest & lowest in pesticide concentration so you can prioritize which are more worth the 'splurge'.
Kinda puts perspective on my thinking, though. I guess I had it backwards, even though I think I've got such an informed decision! Next trip, butter & meat it is. Maybe I'll sacrifice some ice cream or some other non-essential grocery item to make up for the cost.
Something that freaked me out big-time when I was pregnant with Jake was when a study was done on human milk & there were substantial levels of pesticides in it.
It's the same kind of freak-out I had when I learned about the cancerous tumors that had the African monkey virus in them (on autopsy) in people who had never been anywhere near an African brown monkey. It was from a vaccine (given decades prior), as vaccines are grown in serum & organs of other animals!!! And this particular vaccine was grown in African brown monkey plasma... and now found in tumors... Wrap your mind around that!
(Inoculated with an unknown virus, {how do we know if there are any other unknown viruses, we'll never know, because they're unknown!}, protected from {fill in the blank}, culminated in cancer.) Oh vaccines... I could go on forever. It's the toughest decision I've encountered TO DATE in my whole TWO YEARS of motherhood. I've been reading statistics, case studies, ingredients & processing procedures... let me tell you, no amount of information makes this issue any clearer.
I have rambled SO much in this post that I'm cutting myself off!!! Sorry!!! Just wanted to share that organic info because I had no idea about the butter & meat!
Next post will be shorter & sweeter! :)
8.11.2008
God is Good!!!!
Two things that made me smile (and cry like a baby) today:
THIS long-awaited post by my sweet friend. Woo Hoo!!!!! {{Ash, we are rejoicing with you! Wishing you endless sweet moments with your little family back together again! xo}}
and THIS sweet note (letter to self in 1987 by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer)
THIS long-awaited post by my sweet friend. Woo Hoo!!!!! {{Ash, we are rejoicing with you! Wishing you endless sweet moments with your little family back together again! xo}}
and THIS sweet note (letter to self in 1987 by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer)
5.05.2008
He is faithful, He answers!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
God is in this.
There are no such things as odds in God's book.
(Excerpts & verse taken from a friend's encouraging message to me... thank you, Joanne!)
I'm not sure if you've heard it, but one of my favorite worship songs, "Shout to the Lord", was performed by the American Idol contestants a few weeks ago. The iTunes version is even 100% better than the live performance, so if you haven't already raced out to purchase it, it's TOTALLY worth the $.99!!! (P.S. Idol Gives Back is only on iTunes until May 10th)
Here's a video of the live performance, though. I loved it when I first heard it, but now that I have the iTunes version, it doesn't even compare. --Attempt to embed video-- Did it work?
The reason I'm bringing this up is because this song has been everywhere for me the last few days. Every time I turn on my iPod it comes on at least 2-3 times (yes, I have a lot of versions of this song on there, but I also have about 1500 other songs on there!) It plays on my computer playlist, it comes out of my mouth as I'm cooking, cleaning, driving, singing bedtime songs. I love it, and I'm just clinging to these words these days. So I'm going to write them. For me. And maybe for you, if you decide to read them.
Don't forget... that Idol version is so powerful! I get goosebumps (and sometimes tears) every time when Carly Smitson and Syesha Mercado belt out "I sing for joy!" And David Cook's "Forever I'll Stand" and "Forever I'll love you." It's just beautiful. Yes, I've put it on repeat a few times. And I also downloaded that amazing performance of "Please Don't Stop the Music" ... which went immediately to my 'workout' and my 'cleaning' playlists. ((I've been doing a lot of the latter, and not much of the prior!))
{end American Idol commercial}
Okay, here are the lyrics, for me.
"My Jesus,
my Savior,
Lord, there is none like You;
All of my days I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love.
My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;
Let every breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You.
Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King;
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name.
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You."
(-by Chris Tomlin, I'm pretty sure. He writes everything!)
Just a few days ago I wrote in my prayer notebook (I think in response to something I read over at Mourning into Dancing, and then my Bible reading for that day (Matthew 8:1-22):
"Are you choosing to dwell on the "what ifs" instead of the "He cans" and the "He wills"? ... (omitted rambling, Bible readings, etc, ending with my crazy excitedness) ... He can! He will! He can heal! He will retore! He can protect! He will provide! He can hear! He will answer! ... (another omission)... You can and you will bring healing and peace."
That night and the night after, He did protect, He did answer. And now, more than ever, I'm seeking his PEACE (that surpasses all understanding, absolutely). Almost on a moment-to-moment basis.
{ETA (edited to add): As I was proof-reading, (yes proof-reading, yay me!), I feel it necessary to say, in case you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, that we're all fine and nobody is hurt or anything... It's just that the reality of my husbands job is kinda shaking my world right now... I just don't like to write certain keywords about his job on my blog, I'm scared of hackers. Well, my family is scared of hackers. I don't believe in them. haha There's *one* thing I'm not afraid of!! Back to scheduled programming...}
This morning's reading started with Matthew 8:23.
"...You of little faith, WHY ARE YOU AFRAID?" (v.26)
Don't ask me that! My mind floods with reasons to be afraid. Because of guns fired, because of my husband's life at risk, because of the horrifying thought of ever being without him, & of my kids ever being without him. That is why I'm afraid. That is why I'm certainly terrified at times these past few days.
"You of little faith, WHY are you afraid?"
My husband is here now. He provided His protection. GOD IS IN THIS. He answers, He alone is faithful, He protects. Our God is bigger than this!
I cannot be strong without God. I cannot face these things without my faith in Him. Everything is so topsy turvy right now, and God is my rock. I am the unfaithful one. I am the one who is wavering... looking to Him, seeking peace, and then the next moment getting lost in the fearful thoughts (with eyes wide as saucers, I'm sure, letting my imagination run free.) The next moment, battling the knots in my throat, tummy, heart, and setting my focus straight. Praise and thanks to the Lord, for his protection and grace. He is in control. Peace. Like I said, topsy turvy.
"My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;"
Yes you've heard me say it a million times, (or twice), my children are in His loving hands. So is my husband. I think my life has a theme goin on right now. I got it, already! Well, I'm getting it. I just wrote last week "I need my faith to be stronger & greater" ... I wasn't exactly asking for an opportunity though.
If this is too much for you, I'm sorry! This is about as transparent as it gets, right? Very uncharacteristic of me. I also don't talk much about my faith, here or in-person. Except with family and close friends who share my beliefs or when the conversations go there, you know? It's just very personal to me, and I like it that way. I'm not "qualified" (I know, neither is anyone.) But I can't just post Bible verses without exposing myself a bit-- that I'm learning, that I waver, that I am not all together all the time. Not even the majority of the time! haha
So our worlds have been a-rocking over here. Of course, hubby is fine, it's just me who is getting all shaken up. He's prepared for these things. Not I. No, my coping mechanism has been to FORGET completely what he does for a living. I've seen him in uniform ONCE in the past 6 years. When he goes to work, he's simply at WORK and that's as far as my mind takes me. Yes, I told you I had it all together, didn't I? I'm all abouthealthy coping mechanisms.
Enough rambling. Enough bearing of my soul. (Or is it baring? It does feel quite bare!) We're okay, we're gonna all be okay, we're good. We're actually really good. Our time together since his little incidents have been so rich and real and just treasured- My husband is strong but I see it's affected him. I see it in how he is with the kids and how he is with me. This has been a not-so-gentle reminder, a not-so-gentle (and absolutely unwelcomed)wake-up call. We have something great here.
God is in this.
There are no such things as odds in God's book.
(Excerpts & verse taken from a friend's encouraging message to me... thank you, Joanne!)
I'm not sure if you've heard it, but one of my favorite worship songs, "Shout to the Lord", was performed by the American Idol contestants a few weeks ago. The iTunes version is even 100% better than the live performance, so if you haven't already raced out to purchase it, it's TOTALLY worth the $.99!!! (P.S. Idol Gives Back is only on iTunes until May 10th)
Here's a video of the live performance, though. I loved it when I first heard it, but now that I have the iTunes version, it doesn't even compare. --Attempt to embed video-- Did it work?
The reason I'm bringing this up is because this song has been everywhere for me the last few days. Every time I turn on my iPod it comes on at least 2-3 times (yes, I have a lot of versions of this song on there, but I also have about 1500 other songs on there!) It plays on my computer playlist, it comes out of my mouth as I'm cooking, cleaning, driving, singing bedtime songs. I love it, and I'm just clinging to these words these days. So I'm going to write them. For me. And maybe for you, if you decide to read them.
Don't forget... that Idol version is so powerful! I get goosebumps (and sometimes tears) every time when Carly Smitson and Syesha Mercado belt out "I sing for joy!" And David Cook's "Forever I'll Stand" and "Forever I'll love you." It's just beautiful. Yes, I've put it on repeat a few times. And I also downloaded that amazing performance of "Please Don't Stop the Music" ... which went immediately to my 'workout' and my 'cleaning' playlists. ((I've been doing a lot of the latter, and not much of the prior!))
{end American Idol commercial}
Okay, here are the lyrics, for me.
"My Jesus,
my Savior,
Lord, there is none like You;
All of my days I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love.
My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;
Let every breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You.
Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King;
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name.
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You."
(-by Chris Tomlin, I'm pretty sure. He writes everything!)
Just a few days ago I wrote in my prayer notebook (I think in response to something I read over at Mourning into Dancing, and then my Bible reading for that day (Matthew 8:1-22):
"Are you choosing to dwell on the "what ifs" instead of the "He cans" and the "He wills"? ... (omitted rambling, Bible readings, etc, ending with my crazy excitedness) ... He can! He will! He can heal! He will retore! He can protect! He will provide! He can hear! He will answer! ... (another omission)... You can and you will bring healing and peace."
That night and the night after, He did protect, He did answer. And now, more than ever, I'm seeking his PEACE (that surpasses all understanding, absolutely). Almost on a moment-to-moment basis.
{ETA (edited to add): As I was proof-reading, (yes proof-reading, yay me!), I feel it necessary to say, in case you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, that we're all fine and nobody is hurt or anything... It's just that the reality of my husbands job is kinda shaking my world right now... I just don't like to write certain keywords about his job on my blog, I'm scared of hackers. Well, my family is scared of hackers. I don't believe in them. haha There's *one* thing I'm not afraid of!! Back to scheduled programming...}
This morning's reading started with Matthew 8:23.
"...You of little faith, WHY ARE YOU AFRAID?" (v.26)
Don't ask me that! My mind floods with reasons to be afraid. Because of guns fired, because of my husband's life at risk, because of the horrifying thought of ever being without him, & of my kids ever being without him. That is why I'm afraid. That is why I'm certainly terrified at times these past few days.
"You of little faith, WHY are you afraid?"
My husband is here now. He provided His protection. GOD IS IN THIS. He answers, He alone is faithful, He protects. Our God is bigger than this!
I cannot be strong without God. I cannot face these things without my faith in Him. Everything is so topsy turvy right now, and God is my rock. I am the unfaithful one. I am the one who is wavering... looking to Him, seeking peace, and then the next moment getting lost in the fearful thoughts (with eyes wide as saucers, I'm sure, letting my imagination run free.) The next moment, battling the knots in my throat, tummy, heart, and setting my focus straight. Praise and thanks to the Lord, for his protection and grace. He is in control. Peace. Like I said, topsy turvy.
"My comfort,
my shelter,
tower of refuge and strength;"
Yes you've heard me say it a million times, (or twice), my children are in His loving hands. So is my husband. I think my life has a theme goin on right now. I got it, already! Well, I'm getting it. I just wrote last week "I need my faith to be stronger & greater" ... I wasn't exactly asking for an opportunity though.
If this is too much for you, I'm sorry! This is about as transparent as it gets, right? Very uncharacteristic of me. I also don't talk much about my faith, here or in-person. Except with family and close friends who share my beliefs or when the conversations go there, you know? It's just very personal to me, and I like it that way. I'm not "qualified" (I know, neither is anyone.) But I can't just post Bible verses without exposing myself a bit-- that I'm learning, that I waver, that I am not all together all the time. Not even the majority of the time! haha
So our worlds have been a-rocking over here. Of course, hubby is fine, it's just me who is getting all shaken up. He's prepared for these things. Not I. No, my coping mechanism has been to FORGET completely what he does for a living. I've seen him in uniform ONCE in the past 6 years. When he goes to work, he's simply at WORK and that's as far as my mind takes me. Yes, I told you I had it all together, didn't I? I'm all about
Enough rambling. Enough bearing of my soul. (Or is it baring? It does feel quite bare!) We're okay, we're gonna all be okay, we're good. We're actually really good. Our time together since his little incidents have been so rich and real and just treasured- My husband is strong but I see it's affected him. I see it in how he is with the kids and how he is with me. This has been a not-so-gentle reminder, a not-so-gentle (and absolutely unwelcomed)wake-up call. We have something great here.
1.18.2008
Anew
This verse jumped out at me from this wonderful blog that I ran across tonight, but I didn't get the chance to double-check the context. (I left my Bible in my car yesterday, and am too cold to go outside and get it!) I really like it, though. She said it's in the first part of Revelation 21:5
“Behold, I am making all things new.”
How beautiful is that!?!
It makes me think of Austin and our life since he's been here. First of all, I wanted to just thank all of you for your kind thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement as we've been dealing with Austin's GERD (gastro-esophageal reflux disease) and colic. I'm not sure I've actually given a real update on him, but I'm sure you have surmised that he's doing better by my frequent blogging! We can't even express how thankful we are that he's finally turned the corner for good! The chiropracter has been incredible for his "colic", I'm so glad that we've been able to take him. We've tried taking him off the Zantac three times and he was uncomfortable again within 1-2 days every time, so he's still on that medication. But no more pain and wailing, ahh, yes! I won't say he's "easy", but a million times better than he was before! {It certainly hasn't affected his weight gain... he's in the 100th percentile at 14 pounds 14 ounces! ~At 10 1/2 wk~}
Another update and answered prayer... my nephew's 3-year-old brother, Isaac, is in full remission (leukemia) and is now doing maintenance chemotherapy. He's a strong little boy!
Excerpt from above-mentioned blog:
"God’s word says in Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Psalm 145:18 says, “The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.” Micah 7:7 says, "...God will certainly hear me." Did you read that? It does not say that “He might hear you or that He will hear you only between the hours of 8am and 5pm. Not at all, it says He will certainly hear you...period.
Isn’t it amazing to stop and think for a moment…the one true and living God, the same God who formed the earth, the very God who hung the stars in the sky and who told the ocean’s waves they could only come so far…He hears his children when we call.
Call out to Him with confidence. He will most certainly hear you."
I like that.
“Behold, I am making all things new.”
How beautiful is that!?!
It makes me think of Austin and our life since he's been here. First of all, I wanted to just thank all of you for your kind thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement as we've been dealing with Austin's GERD (gastro-esophageal reflux disease) and colic. I'm not sure I've actually given a real update on him, but I'm sure you have surmised that he's doing better by my frequent blogging! We can't even express how thankful we are that he's finally turned the corner for good! The chiropracter has been incredible for his "colic", I'm so glad that we've been able to take him. We've tried taking him off the Zantac three times and he was uncomfortable again within 1-2 days every time, so he's still on that medication. But no more pain and wailing, ahh, yes! I won't say he's "easy", but a million times better than he was before! {It certainly hasn't affected his weight gain... he's in the 100th percentile at 14 pounds 14 ounces! ~At 10 1/2 wk~}
Another update and answered prayer... my nephew's 3-year-old brother, Isaac, is in full remission (leukemia) and is now doing maintenance chemotherapy. He's a strong little boy!
Excerpt from above-mentioned blog:
"God’s word says in Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Psalm 145:18 says, “The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.” Micah 7:7 says, "...God will certainly hear me." Did you read that? It does not say that “He might hear you or that He will hear you only between the hours of 8am and 5pm. Not at all, it says He will certainly hear you...period.
Isn’t it amazing to stop and think for a moment…the one true and living God, the same God who formed the earth, the very God who hung the stars in the sky and who told the ocean’s waves they could only come so far…He hears his children when we call.
Call out to Him with confidence. He will most certainly hear you."
I like that.
12.22.2007
Lifting up those who need it
I've been caught up a lot in my little life lately. (That's a lot of "L"s!) It sometimes seems to be whirling by so fast (and I want to shout STOP! My boys are growing so fast, I want to savor it! TOO FAAST!)-- and other times it seems to be standing still... (those hard times when Austin is so uncomfortable and unconsolable, or when both boys are crying and I have to pee and the doorbell is ringing and the oven has been preheated for 4 hours but I just haven't had the chance to put the dinner IN it)... it's during THOSE times that the horrible thought pops in my head: "When will this be over!?!" or sometimes even: "Will I get through this?" I know it sounds dramatic, but I have those postpartum hormones and the 7-weeks of sleep deprivation to thank for that. Most of the time those thoughts are fleeting, but sometimes they stay a bit longer. I'm being way too honest here! lol
So as I was saying, my mind is totally stuck in my own circumstances lately especially during the harder moments. I pray for strength, guidance, grace, peace...
When today I read of a family who needs prayers for a miracle. It was in a bloggie friend of mine's website. She also cited the website of a family who experienced answered prayers (a miracle!) in a seemingly hopeless situation (hopeless, if you don't know our God of hope and healing!)
I just had a bit of a wake-up call tonight. It really puts things in perspective, thinking about the devastating circumstances that this family is facing, and especially their faith in the Lord as they go through it. And the many other people experiencing trials far more difficult than I have faced in my life. How could I feel so overwhelmed and hopeless at times in my own trivial circumstances (especially when I have nothing to feel sorrow for), when there are others facing such terrible tribulations. I am wasting my energy when what I want to be doing is praying for those who really need it, and focusing on all that I have to give thanks for.
I was also very inspired by this woman. (Author of above-mentioned/cited website) I actually couldn't stop reading. So many of the things she wrote spoke to me on such a personal level!
So as I was saying, my mind is totally stuck in my own circumstances lately especially during the harder moments. I pray for strength, guidance, grace, peace...
When today I read of a family who needs prayers for a miracle. It was in a bloggie friend of mine's website. She also cited the website of a family who experienced answered prayers (a miracle!) in a seemingly hopeless situation (hopeless, if you don't know our God of hope and healing!)
I just had a bit of a wake-up call tonight. It really puts things in perspective, thinking about the devastating circumstances that this family is facing, and especially their faith in the Lord as they go through it. And the many other people experiencing trials far more difficult than I have faced in my life. How could I feel so overwhelmed and hopeless at times in my own trivial circumstances (especially when I have nothing to feel sorrow for), when there are others facing such terrible tribulations. I am wasting my energy when what I want to be doing is praying for those who really need it, and focusing on all that I have to give thanks for.
I was also very inspired by this woman. (Author of above-mentioned/cited website) I actually couldn't stop reading. So many of the things she wrote spoke to me on such a personal level!
BUT, I think I've divulged enough personal information for the night, so I won't be expanding too much on that!
I will just share one little quote I ran across on her blog that I thought was cute:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
And how I related it to my life.
And how I related it to my life.
You know, Austin was a "surprise" and I had a hard time accepting the idea of having another baby so soon. It was not exactly in MY PLAN. Even though we've had a tough time adjusting to having two babies, the thing is, my plan was a bad plan. And this is God's perfect plan for me and my life. What could be better? I was meant to be this baby's mama, and at exactly this time. He is so precious and amazing and beautiful. I love his little life, I love his soul, I love everything about him and am so thankful for his presence in my life.
And to think that he wouldn't be here if all had gone according to my plan...
So I whole-heartedly agree with the sentiment that was expressed in said post:
"Man, what a bad plan, eh? Look what we would have missed out on..."
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