Reflecting on the now

Really!?!? Only 67 days until my "due date"!?!?

Even though 9 weeks sounds like forever to me, in the state I'm in, when you put it in "days" it sounds so much closer!

And if you think of it along the same lines as I do... then you will deduct 21 days from that, making it 6 weeks, or only 46 more days... since Austin was 21 days early, and therefore this baby will do the same. Right? Because aren't all babies and pregnancies and deliveries the same? And isn't it a tried and true rule that each subsequent baby comes earlier?

I have got to stop thinking these things!!! I'm totally jinxing myself into carrying this baby to 42 weeks!!! And either way, I need to remember that the baby will come in His perfect timing. Not mine! {And why would I really want it any other way!?}

I need to stop looking so forward to the end of this pregnancy, and focus on enjoying the moments of awe that it brings me daily. P.S. I'm not always waiting for the end, but I do have my moments. And I just love labor and birth so much, that I can't wait for it!! I have always been one who loves loves loves being pregnant. I need to get my head back to that place! This time around, I'm uncomfortable and physically drained. I giggle at the thought of how tired and drained I'll be feeling after the baby comes... this is probably nothing compared to that!!!

Mostly, though... I just need to keep on taking each day as it comes, treasuring this time with my two little boys. All too soon I will be sleep-deprived once again, stretching myself even more, and worrying about spreading myself equally amongst my three children! What a ride it will be! Fun, beautiful, exhausting, challenging, blessed... I don't think I could ever be ready, but I have faith that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be-- I do pray for peace and patience.

So about my two boys-- Oh, they are so cute right now! They always are, but they both have been saying the most darling things lately!!!

Austin is learning new words daily and speaking in 3-4 word sentences. He definitely copies everything Jake says! His sweet little voice just melts my heart. I have to get him on video- he's growing and changing right before my eyes!

And Jake is just hilarious, telling me stories about his life and the experiences his days bring. I love seeing how he processes the day's events during our bedtime talks. He's learning how to tell me not only what happened, but how it made him feel. I'm trying to remember to ask open-ended questions. Sometimes I say, "did that make you sad/happy/laugh/etc," instead of saying, "how did that make you feel?" I absolutely love talking to Jake and hearing what he has to tell me, it's one of the richest experiences that this age has brought.

Speaking of his age, is it even possible that in a month he'll be THREE!?! un.real.

On the other hand, he has a new found energy... I don't know where it came from. A wild and crazy energy! He picks things up and throws them, he says "no" to me just to see what I'll do, he still wrestles with his brother (nothing new there) but he doesn't respond to my guidance as well as he used to... WOW! Austin has never really been the greatest at obedience, so I'm used to that challenge. But what happened to my mild-mannered, obedient Jake? It is so much fun to see this new zest, though! (Even when it makes things a little more difficult at times.)

What an incredible blessing these children are. I am so humbled by the fact that I am their mother. They make me want to be a better person. They make me want to make this world a better place (even more than I did before!)

There is such sweetness in their little voices and faces, (um, most of the time, heehee!)
Hmmmm.... I love them!

Soaking it all in!

This is such sweetness!

My sleeping baby:

and his quiet little smile when he gets a mommy kiss!

Awww!!!! I love life!!!!! lol

And here is a cell-phone-photo of Jake during a swim lesson. He is so cute!

This pic was taken last week after I was ignoring my boys for a few minutes while I was on the phone... I glanced over to see Austin (gasp!) standing up!!!!!! Here's how you know he's my 2nd & not my 1st: instead of running over there to protect him from falling, I instead ran and grabbed my camera! (P.S. he did fall, and luckily I was right there to 'ease' the fall a bit. he's learning quickly to stick his butt out and land on his bottom. he's now crusing & is the most happy when he's standing upright)

Here's some family time at the park, and (below) another development in Austin's amazing little life. His military scoot is progressing into a crawl! He's so strong, already trying to stand up without holding on to anything! I'm curious to see when he'll walk. It seems all of these (movement) milestones are coming up really quickly!!! While some of the others, like sleeping, ahem!, are taking a bit longer!

Below is a sweet brother picture, but Jake isn't pictured. You can see the interaction, though. So cute! These boys are so cute, I love watching them interact together. Jake likes to make Austin laugh. Austin likes to watch Jake's every move. We're teaching Jake about sharing and taking turns, and I have a feeling this will be a process that spans over the next many years!

P.S. I know the pic below looks shocking. I *know* because when I glanced over & saw him perched on the edge of the boat, I almost gasped! But then they explained that the bar of the railing was between his legs so he couldn't fall in, and Grandpa had his hand on him almost the whole time. I had to explain that so you don't think he was just balancing there!

So often I feel tired and sometimes I even feel bothered by the constant pulling of my pant legs when I'm trying to get my ever-important things done. I get trapped in a self-seeking spot where I feel like "me-time" is so important. And then I am brought back to my senses. These kids... they are precious. And I am absolutely honored & humbled by the opportunity to be their mommy every.day. I take such joy in this position, and have been seriously thinking about my highest (& most lofty!) goal, which is to teach these sweet children about God. And by the realization that they learn through watching how I live out my life, not necesarily by what I tell them. When I 'mother' them, when I discipline them (or withhold discipline and instead comfort them through it), am I reflecting God's grace? That is my goal! Do I maintain a positive outlook in life? Do I seek God first? These are thoughts that I want to keep in the forefront of my mind.

I once searched for parenting and discipline books, which was an overwhelming task in itself, and in the midst of piles of books, I felt these words in my heart: Just Love Them. Just Love Them! Those words soften my heart & bring clarity to my mind in times of frustration.

These are just some of the goings-on in the R household and my ramblings. I'm trying to soak in all of this. My baby's soft skin & baby rolls, the boys' laughter, Jake's little voice as he pronounces new words and strings together little sentences. I want to hold on to every second! The years go by so fast and I don't want to forget any of this or take it for granted. Ahh, my cup runneth over!

So enough mushy stuff.

Here's awarding some "good-mommy" points for taking the boys to the pediatrician for their well-checks. haha I went to my old Doctor, and it was soooo refreshing- he is so wonderful!!! So here are the updates:

Jake (25 months)

Wt: 25 lb, 8 in (20%)

Lgth: 35 1/2 in (75%)

Head: 49 cm (50-55%)

Austin (9 months)

Wt: 23 lb, 1 oz (90%)

Lgth: 30 1/2 in (97%)

Head: 45 1/2 in (65-70%)

My Sweet Boys

We had a little photo shoot after baths lastnight. (On the floor of Jake's bedroom!)

These babies melt my heart. I love when I come home from work and Jake RUNS to me, it's so sweet! They are growing too fast!!!!!! I realized today that Jake is almost two and I got a knot in my stomach... TWO! He's my BABY, he can't be turning two!!! And my itty bitty newborn isn't a newborn anymore... (nor is he anywhere near itty bitty!) ... he's almost 4 months old, which is almost 6 months old, which is half of a year, which passes by like a two blinks of an eye... Do you ever feel like time is moving in warp speed!?!

(almost) two going on sixteen.

The banner at the bottom of my blog page is probably one of my favorite pictures on earth. When I became a mommy, my days were filled with AWE. Being pregnant, I felt like I had been touched by God and felt honored and ecstatic to be a part of a miracle. (Though the 2nd time around, I mostly just felt shocked to be preggo so soon!) And I hope I never forget how I felt those first few weeks of mommyhood. (And still feel, when I think about it, or when it hits me out of nowhere as I am playing and laughing with Jake, or when I turn my head to see Austin staring at me with a huge smile across his face-- yep, that gets me every time.) There are absolutely NO words, but that photo with the caption AWE-STRUCK... that pretty much says it all. I don't think I ever want to stop having babies! "mo!" "mo!" "mo!" (as Jake would say)

(P.S. Don't worry! NONE soon! I'm just having a 'warm & fuzzy' moment. That's just what I do, as you've probably noticed by now. I'm quite mushy!)

A New Normal

I had some pics to post, as always--- but got sidetracked and started flipping through all the DRAFTS in my files... the posts that never got finished or I decided not to post for whatever reason. Many of them were from when Jake was little(r), like over a year ago. And it just made me laugh a little. There was a post about whether or not I should learn how to knit, and the post about reality TV and how I was sick so I spent a few days on the couch watching TV... and the funny part was my thinking about how life changes, what's 'normal' changes and morphs to a new normal. I couldn't dare spend a day on the couch now, even if I tried!

When I had Jake, I remember thinking back to when it was just Kevin & I, and thinking how I had so much time, and wondering why I didn't scrapbook more, take dance classes, go to the gym, and use that time better- because it was so much harder to do any of that stuff with a baby. It is a pretty amazing thought, to imagine being able to just GO somewhere. Not thinking about who will watch kids, feeding & nap times, how long I'll be gone... to just get up and decide to go to the gym or take a yoga class or something... I feel like those times are so far in the past and SOOO far in the future!

So anyways, fastfoward to now-- as I read those posts written during my mommy-of-one-hood, I'm thinking about even how much more time I had then! I'm not being negative at all. And I'm really not making much sense but it did to me. You know, when you go to College, you realize that High School was a piece of cake. When you have 2 babies, you realize that 1 baby was a piece of cake. Isn't it great that God helps us to stretch & grow!?!

I've heard that once you have two babies, that it doesn't matter after that how many you have-- that the 3rd & 4th are just added in without a problem. Funny! I guess you are already used to having no time.

Well, maybe life does get harder but it also gets richer, fuller, more beautiful-- and what "normal" is certainly does change. Thank goodness that my new life with two babies is now starting to feel like a "new normal" instead of absolute insanity!

And I'm also so thankful for all that God has been teaching me through my experiences during the last 2 months.

Here are a few pics I snapped yesterday when the boys were wearing their matching pjs.

OH NO! LOOK WHAT JAKE FOUND!

haha Today I was on my computer as Jake was playing... when all of the sudden he comes jetting towards me so excitedly, and I whirl around, shocked, to see him with a PACIFIER in his mouth!!! I have no idea where he found it, because he's been here with me the whole time... maybe behind the couch or something(?) Probably covered in dust-bunnies! He hasn't had one in his mouth during "awake-time" since he was a BABY, and we stopped putting him to sleep with one a while ago too- so it was a little startling to see him, WALKING(!), with a PACIFIER in his mouth again. He's such a little *boy* now, not a baby! But I thought it was pretty funny & cute too- that he found it, put it in, and was excited about it. He crawled and walked around for about 5 minutes with it-- pulling it out and putting it back in-- then threw it down to find the next adventure. I'm so glad this is not a familiar sight in my house though... he's too big for a pacifier! It did make me laugh.

FAMILY

P.S. I'm feeling all warm & fuzzy tonight! I'm so thankful for the family and love that Jake is surrounded by!!! Having family like this makes the prospect of having two babies so close together seem a lot more manageable. And actually tonight seeing my baby nephew made me excited to bring another *baby* into the mix! (I always love imagining the boys growing up together, but lately have been nervous thinking about the actual newborn part, having Jake and being alone most of the time, as Kevin works so hard for us so isn't around very much.) It's so unlike me to be nervous about this. With Jake, being pregnant, giving birth, and having a newborn was the most natural, awe-inspiring thing for me. I didn't have fears, I was in total bliss! (sleep-deprived bliss!) But the hormones this time around are messing with me, and I've been playing this tug-of-war with these emotions the entire pregnancy! Re-framing thoughts, trying to stay in a peaceful place and keep fears/misgivings at bay, ugh! It's NOT like me! But it is what it is! Everybody tells me that you won't be taking anything away from the first child, that your love doubles when you think your heart is already overflowing, and it's hard work but you get through it and everybody is fine. I know it's true, and I know that the baby is a gift from God and once he is here, I'll never be able to imagine life without him. I am meant to be this baby's mama! So all that, to say that tonight I am excited about our baby! I love babies and can't believe that we're going to have another one so soon, and it's going to be fun! (nursing again, first smiles again, the cooing and oh, yah, especially the many naps!) How wonderful to grow from a family of 3 to a family of 4!

Anyways, about my warm & fuzzies, the last few days we've been so lucky to have family close-by. Kevin's parents and his brother/wife/baby have all been beach camping at the beach about 5 minutes from our house. It's been so nice to drive down and hang out with them. I've always known how blessed we are to have such a wonderful family, but tonight it just hit me as I watched Jake with his grandparents. He is so lucky to have two sets of amazing grandparents who love him so much. It's so cool to see Jake so comfortable with them, and how much fun he has with them. (And them with him!) I just wanted to sit there and take it all in forever. He is so lucky! Blessed! {happy sigh} There's nothing like seeing happiness in your childs eyes!!!

MOMMYHOOD CRAZINESS

So, sorry for the long, rambling, random post, but it's about to get 'randomer'. Because all of this reflecting on family makes me remember something I said to Kevin lastnight, and I wonder if anybody else does this too. First of all, here's what lastnight was all about. I just have this fear that if I died, Jake wouldn't know my family since they live farther & Kevin's so busy, so lastnight as Kevin was trying to fall asleep, I had to make *sure* that he helps Jake to stay very involved in my family's lives. I made him promise that he would take him to family functions. And Kevin, exhausted and trying to sleep, was trying with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, to convince me that he would. I have to admit, it was the most sincere muffled "uh huh" I ever heard! He's used to my craziness!

Has anybody else ever done the "if I die" thing? I guess it's just a little quirk that I have-- I don't think about it a lot or anything, but part of mommyhood is making sure your children are taken care of. And I tend to take things a bit farther than others, so it's just a funny little mommyhood thing that I've been doing ever since Jake was born. Just on occasion!! It's become pretty funny. (Although Kevin always changes the subject pretty quickly after he says "okay honey" and we laugh, and then he doesn't want to think about it anymore.)

Here's how it goes-- As I'm going about my day-to-day routine, I suddenly feel the need to tell Kevin some little piece of information (that I obviously feel is very important), just to make sure he knows it in case something happened to me. It's a sudden thought... oh my gosh, Kevin doesn't know how to do this... he needs to know! And out it comes, before I know it: "Kevin, make sure if I die that you use this bottle brush to get the nipples clean,"... or "Kevin, if I die, make sure you remember that this thermometer is rectal and this one is oral/axillary", or whatever the important information happens to be. We always get a little laugh out of it! So maybe you *thought* I was crazy before, but now it's out!

Forgive the rambling, it's late and I'm tired and I should be sleeping!!!! Long day at Disneyland tomorrow {wrong night to stay up late!} - be prepared for some (hopefully) really cute photos! Have a beautiful day!

TENTH TOOTH!!
I found another tooth today! Jake's top molar has popped through, and I didn't even know it was coming! That makes ten... crazy!

Christine, Jarlath & baby Finn are home today and doing great! What an amazing feeling that was, bringing baby home for the first time! It was actually fun leaving our home for the hospital... as we stepped out, Kevin and I shared a little moment of reflection-- that the next time we came home, we would have our baby in our arms! And that it was the last time it would be 'just us'. That was a fun moment! Ahhh, they all are!

My nephew is here!

Welcome Baby Finn Agustus!!!!!!!My new nephew is perfect! Both mommy & baby are healthy and doing well. He was born this morning, 9/2/07 at 0513. 9 pounds even, 22 inches long, and as cute as a *button*!
Here are a few pictures from our annual river trip. We went to Parker, AZ and spent some time camping by the river. The highlight for me was visiting with Kevin's grandparents. It was also so much fun bringing Jake in the water- he *loved* the boats!! The weather was pretty nuts, 112-117! I think if I could have just stayed in the river 24/7, I would have lasted a bit longer!

P.S. Kevin and I celebrated our 5-year wedding anniversary over the weekend! Woo Hoo!!! In the first 5 years of our marriage we have lived in two different cities, rented an apartment for a year & then bought our first home, started & maintained jobs in our careers of choice, got a dog, and grown from a family of two to an (almost) family of four! What an amazing time we've had together! We can't wait to live more moments & years together and see what is in store for us in the future... it's fun to imagine!

Natural Living~~~
I try so hard!!!
What are those 'crystals' in diapers that make them so unnaturally super-absorbant that a baby can pee in them a zillion times and they'll expand to four times their usual size before even feeling wet or leaking? I always wonder. What chemicals am I putting against my son's skin? (I've tried Seventh Generation diapers, no bleach or crystals... better than the others but not as absorbant!) I try so hard to cloth diaper most of the time, but still use disposables sometimes out of convenience. Anyways, every time I throw a disposable out, I think, "that'll take 500 years to biodegrade"... is it worth it? {{Not to mention that nagging question about the chemicals in them!}} Each child creates 2 tons of diaper landfill, which will remain there for 500 years! What am I contributing to the earth, and who will my actions affect and for how long? Long before I'm gone, and my children too. Anyways, I don't consider myself a super crazy environmentalist, but I try so hard to be ecofriendly and... my driving factor is actually the health of my family. And I do get sad about what we do to the earth!

So we've been trying to eat whole organic foods for a while, not always totally successful, but we do alright! I also try to avoid chemicals in the house/yard, but since my veggie garden died, I've actually let some pesticides & fertilizers creep into the garage shelves.

Here's the point of my post! No matter how hard I try, there is so much out of our control! I promise I'm not neurotic or stressed out about this, but it gets to me when I think of it... and I have nothing against China, but I am not buying anything from there for a LONG time because it seems that all of the (MANY) recalls lately have been from there. Like I said, nothing against the country, but there is something lacking in the inspection process or the safety guidelines. So anyways, besides the millions of childrens toys that were just recalled (from China, due to lead as well)... some of the vinyl bibs that we've been using on Jake for the past 6 months were recalled because they *just* found out that they have LEAD in them! Three times the safe levels! (Lead, can cause neurological damage & death!) I'm not afraid, I know Jake is fine, but it really irks me that I bought them here on the shelves of Babies R Us and they are just now finding this out.

Okay, so I'm getting rid of the bibs... feeding him naked & hosing him off afterward :) lol No big deal. But then yesterday I read that plastic baby bottles have toxic chemicals (bisphenol A: BPA), which are released into the bottles contents. BPA can lead to cancer, impaired immune function, hyperactivity & other problems. If your bottles are heated in any way (microwave, sterilizer, dishwasher), then the plastic degrades quicker, releasing more chemicals into the contents. Lovely! Hard polycarbonate BPA containing plastics are the worst, so we should try to use safer, softer plastics, such as polyethylene, polypropylene, or polyamide. Better yet, is glass, or an alltogether BPA-free bottle. So I'm off to Babies R Us to get new bottles/sippy cups. If you are going to do the same, go for either glass or the following brands make BPA-free bottles: Born Free (ALL theirs are BPA-free), Gerber, Sassy, and Medela. Make sure you read the labels, and that they say BPA-free.

P.S. The comment I've gotten from many... we all consumed these chemicals and we're fine. I KNOW! But does that mean I should feed them to my children!?! With cancer and especially autism rates rising to strikingly high numbers... (both with unknown causes)... why not try to live more naturally and healthily?

P.S. I'm not over-protective or controlling or neurotic- I am pretty laid back with Jake, especially when he's out with other people, because I know that things in moderation are good and a little junk food or whatever won't kill him-- but when I can help it, when he's home with me and/or I'm feeding him or changing his diapers or maintaining the home we live in, I am doing so in the most natural, healthy & earth-friendly way that I can. (And I am glad that I am the one doing most of that stuff most of the time!!!) So there's my crazy blog rant #2... hopefully this one was a bit more useful than my last! I am afraid this note will present me as a little high-strung, but oh well. I'm not. (Maybe a little more than usual when I'm pregnant, but not usually!) lol

We LOVE the summertime!!!!

I can't believe it's already the end of August... sad! But in the mean time we're enjoying every minute. {{Well, minus the ones that we're dying of heat, trying to find an excuse to get out of the house.}} Pregnancy and hot non-air-conditioned hot days don't work well together! haha But we've been spending lots of time relaxing in the shade outside, going to parks, beaches, and visiting other peoples pools or air-conditioned malls/etc. One things for sure, if I'm home during the hottest part of the day, I'm absolutely NOT doing anything productive!!! haha I'm usually lounging with baby.



About above pic, yes, I did let Jake sit naked in the grass. I was worried about his poor little bottom getting itchy but he didn't mind. I had to set him down while I ran inside to get a towel & hat before putting him in the little pool (below), but had to take a pic of my little naked boy!



P.S. I have something exciting on my mind... Jake is sleeping better than he ever has!!!! When he was born we put him to sleep with a pacifier because it's one of the recommendations to prevent SIDS. (With the intention of taking it away at 4 months). We never stopped! Until 3 nights ago. The first night was hard, but now he sleeps through the night without any wake-ups, without calling us in there to replace it. I've been absolutely dreading it, but he has learned in just 3 short days how to self-soothe and put himself to sleep on his own. Lastnight he went down without even ONE PEEP... he watched me say goodnight, and rolled over and hugged his "baby" lamb. YAY!!!!!!!!

Really quick, on a different note, I've been inspired recently to try my hand at a veggie garden again. Still trying to figure out where to start, because this time I want to do it right and have enough food to feed my family... but I'm hoping to get one started in the next few months. Seeing pics of my friend's garden totally inspired me, so if anybody has any tips, I would love to hear them! The other thing is that I'm going to pick up some knitting again-- make some things for my new baby, who I am suddenly sooo excited to get things ready for. (Nesting has begun!!!) We don't have much to do to prepare for another BABY (we have everything we need), but there are things around the house that I definitely want to get done before he gets here. We have things that were supposed to be done 16 months ago (when I was "nesting" and preparing the house for Jake), that still haven't been done! We tore out our linen cabinets in the hallway to create a computer nook (with built-in desk and overhead cabinets for linens)... but it's still just an empty nook with the computer sitting on a piano bench and wires strewn across the house!!! Ah, it drives me nuts!! Every time someone comes over I have to explain because it's so embarassing! So we're going to get that done before this baby comes and have someone convert our desktop to "wireless". YAY! My old piano was also sitting on the patio for the last 16 months (since it got put out in the RAIN during hardwood installation...grrr...) and it was finally hauled away last week. (Another thing I'm always trying to make excuses for... our ghetto yard with old pianos and stuff in it... I say "we're still under construction, excuse the mess... for 16 months! Sometimes it's so hard to get things done around here, but I think Kevin is feeling a little "nesting bug" too, thank goodness! He's just as inspired as I am right now! YAY!!!) Little by little! I'm so happy. Getting rid of stuff feels so good! I'm sure I'll keep you all posted on the garden & knitting projects. I can't wait! :)

Have I mentioned that Jake is a total water baby!? This was his first time in the pool, but since then he's completed his first 5-week swim lesson course and he LOVES it! These pics are from our little family vacation to Ojai. I was having problems posting when we got back in town, but we had such a relaxing time. The place we stayed was AMAZING! (If you ever get the chance, stay at Ojai Valley Inn & Spa.) It is a wellness getaway, with schedules packed full of relaxation, art, pampering (massage, etc), pilates, nature hikes, golf, etc. Of course, we didn't plan for any of that ($)... but we decided that if we win the lotto, I would definitely be taking a bunch of friends up there for the week and spending thousands on our wellness!!! lol Anyways, it was a much-needed getaway. Everything was so healthy and natural there (food, products, atmosphere)- ahh, I want to go back!



And here are more pictures from a recent beach trip. Maybe not as recent as I think... my tummy is a lot bigger than that now!
I'm just downloading pictures to the internet so when my computer crashes (it's on it's last leg, & CD burner broke so I can back them up!), I will have them somewhere else.

So when I ran across these pictures they made me happy. I know I have said this so many times, but my heart is so full. I couldn't possibly have imagined that I could hold so much love, but these two guys of mine do make my heart & life full!

I have to admit I'm nervous about bringing another baby into the mix. I know, I don't really need anybody to tell me that I'll survive and that millions of women do it all the time. I know that! But that doesn't change the little butterflies I get when I think about it.

A 16-month old and a newborn, with a husband who will be working a lot and family that's relatively far away- and then the prospect of returning to work is seriously freaking me out {{leaving one baby is one thing, but TWO- and one who is breastfeeding- it's going to be hard for the person who they are with! usually kevin and sometimes grandma-- it'd be so much easier & better if I could just stay home!}}

Anyways, this pregnancy is just going WAY too fast! The closer my due date gets, the more nervous I get! I know it will be busy and a bit overwhelming, but will I be too overwhelmed? Will I have time for Jake? Will the house fall down around me? (haha, the answer to *that* one is for sure YES! Because I know I won't be getting much cooking or cleaning done, and, well, Kevin... he tries... LOL)

What a pregnant post this has been! I went from happy relaxation, heart overflowing, to butterflies and nerves! haha P.S. I'm not always nervous about it, just at times. Especially with the recent childcare dilemmas we've been having. I'm actively researching other options, real estate, etc... Kevin doesn't want to sell our home and neither do I, but I'm remaining open. I'm absolutely not going to work full time and pay to have my kids in daycare!

The Blessingway turned out *BEAUTIFUL*!!! It was such a special time of showering my sister with love and blessings! Plus I always treasure time spent with family and close friends. We really had a great time enjoying eachothers comany and also acknowledging and filling our hearts with thanks and awe with regards to the miracle of pregnancy, birth, and babies. It really did turn out beautifully, and I know I was the host but everybody present was so open and had the same feedback afterwards-- that is was just a great and meaningful celebration. I'm so happy with how everything turned out!! There were meaningful and "serious" aspects of it, but the coolest thing is that it was a *joyous* celebration and we were all just relaxed and having fun.



The above pictures are of the pampering that my sister got! My mom brushed her hair and her sweet friend, Kristen, made a flower wreath for her- this symbolizes the transformation into motherhood & preparing the 'headspace' for birth & mommyhood. My sister, Annie & dear friend Casey massaged her hands & arms with delicious Pachouli Lime lotion, which symbolizes preparing her hands and arms for holding and comforting baby Finn. We soaked her feet in water with rose petals and lavendar oil, and the washing of her feet symbolizes the washing away of all fears. We massaged her feet and legs with lotion and then dried them with cornmeal, which symbolizes preparing her feet for the long and awe-inspiring journey through birth and into motherhood. It was a beautiful time of women helping and lifting up women, sisterhood bonding. It's silly that doing something like this makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable, but it's the most natural thing ever... I think that in most cultures, women learn about pregnancy and birth from the other women in their tribes/communities, and it is the women who help prepare eachother for the various rites of passage that may occur in their lives (marriage, menstruation, birth, etc).
The bracelet above was made during our "blessings". We each took two beads- The first bead was for Christine-- we each said something special for Christine (a wish we have for her, something special, maybe a Bible verse or quote), and the bead was strung onto the bracelet symbolizing our wish for her... and the second bead was for baby Finn-- for this we each said an attribute or character that we wish for him to have. It was a very special (and tearful!) time. We had someone writing down everything said and this was presented to Christine with the bracelet. The bracelet will be with her during her birth-time to remind her of all the love and support she has. We also created a prayer-chain for her birth time. During this "blessing" time, we also each shared what we loved most about our births, or some other little ancedote that may be empowering or positive for her. As well as any words of wisdom we have for her. We gave her 4 extra beads so her and daddy can both place their wishes on the bracelet as well.
The 2nd picture is the belly-cast that we made after all the festivities and the yummy food. Isn't is BEAUTIFUL!!! Anyways, I just thought I'd share more about the Blessingway because so many people weren't sure what one was. Don't you feel blessed that we are able to experience this miracle of pregnancy, birth and parenthood? AMAZING!!!
P.S. I'll try to be better about posting- I've been sooo busy! I'll post a recent pic of Jake soon too. He turns ONE next week!!! Oh, I'm halfway through my pregnancy too. It's going great!

It's a BOY!!!!

So, I won't post the spread-eagle ultrasound picture, but suffice it to say that I saw *it* the moment the ultrasound panned down... I'm officially out-numbered, no question about it! So my shopping trip tomorrow isn't going to be as fun as I thought (no pink), but my wallet is going to seriously thank me!!!! That was going to be expensive, having a girl. I am in love with the idea of Jake and a little brother, but it also terrifies me that I may never get my girl. I was hoping to get it over with so I didn't have to wonder anymore. See, Kevin wanted 2 boys, and now he has them. As far as he's concerned, we could be finished having kids and he'll be totally happy. How will I ever get him to try for a girl!?! I have time to think on that one though. I am soooo not getting pregnant again any time soon!!! I just got used to the idea of being pregnant (last week!), and now I have this to wrap my mind around... a household full of boys! It'll be a great adventure. Honestly, from my human and most secret place in my heart, I was disappointed (though it's even embarrassing to admit it)... but for a second, and then I remembered how Jake is my STAR and I love him so much, and that God put this new baby boy in my life at such a "surprising" time and it was all destined to happen the way it is- and that does bring me joy. I'm so excited about this baby (finally!) It's a BOY!!! A precious boy!!!!
As long as I can stop re-living all the visions of the "its-a-girl ultrasound" that I was having!!! Why do we do this to ourselves!?! LOL And it's time to put on the BLINDERS when I walk into the baby stores... I forbid myself to look at the girl clothes! It's too dar n cute!

Family & Babies
I have officially gotten the "go-ahead" (from my sister) to share her wonderful news! Remember in my 'New Years' post, when I made mention of some exciting news in our family? Well, my big sis, Christine, is pregnant! This is not just *any* pregnancy... she's been told since she was a teenager that she wouldn't be able to have children, and has spent the last 15-20 years trying/praying/hoping. I don't want to divulge any more personal info than that, but I want to just emphasize that this baby is our little miracle baby and our entire family is absolutely ECSTATIC!!! She and baby are both doing great- healthy and growing (love that little baby bump!)... she's 16 weeks today (woo hoo!) In a few weeks I'll get to broadcast whether I will have a new niece or nephew! She is so radiant and is going to be the best momma ever! I forgot to take a tummy pic of her when she came over the other night (shoot!) but here's a pic with her & Jake.
Speaking of new babies-- My sister-in-law's baby shower was today. Doesn't Danielle look BEAUTIFUL!?!?!

I was just thinking that my little nephew is going to be sooo cute, with the two gene-pools he's coming from! I was excited to hear that more of our family members read my blog than I thought! It made me want to share more family pictures than I do. So, here are a few. (Above: Kev's cousin, Jenn, Jake, Dani, & me. Below: Kev's aunt, mom, gma, sis-in-law, wife & son: Karla, Judy, Ann, Dani, & us! What a lucky man Kevin is, to have such a wonderful family! I wish we were able to spend more time together.) Fun! If you see a picture that you want- all you have to do is right-click it and select save-- and you can choose where on your computer that you want it.


Here is a picture that Kevin's aunt Chris sent me of her grandkids. (Chris, I hope you don't mind my posting it. I can easily delete it if you don't want it online.) I guess they would be Kevin's 2nd cousins: Daizey (7), Matthew (3), and Anthony (10). They are absolutely darling and I hear such great stories about them- I can't wait to meet them!
And of course, my newest favorite picture of Jake. It's so hard to choose because he is just so dang cute!!!! I answered a questionaire e-mail, and one of the questions was "What is your favorite sound" and my immediate answer was the sound of my sons laughter! He is so full of life, he's so bright and beautiful, he makes our hearts full and overflowing! Mommyhood has forever changed me and I know it will continue to do so. There's nothing like it! Sometimes I imagine Jake getting older and it makes me sad to think I won't always be able to kiss his little toes (I may not always WANT to! Boys feet get gross!) But you know what I'm saying-- one day he won't want to snuggle and he might go straight in his room after school without telling me about his day... But for now I can kiss him all I want! I'll deal with that when it happens. (dread!) People say boys never leave their moms, but they do. They get wives! Mother-son relationships are never as close as mother-daughter. Daughters are the ones who become best friends with their moms! (You just have to get through the explosive adolescent years... that's when girls are the hardest!) Okay enough rambling! Those are MY "deep thoughts" for the day~*

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Kevin and I felt so fortunate to *both* have Christmas off this year!!! It's only happened twice in the past 5 years!

Christmas was beautiful, as always. Spending time with family is one of my favorite things to do in the world! I worked Christmas Eve so we didn't get to go to the candlelight service that we wanted to attend. It felt strange not going to church during Christmas week! And no Christmas musicals either, sad!

Even though Kevin and I have started some of our own traditions, now that we have Jake, I have been thinking even more about them. I'm a very nostalgic person, and I absolutely love traditions. Every year before we open gifts at my parents house, my dad reads the story of Jesus' birth. I love that! As a kid, Annie and I would get so antsy for the story to get over so we could open our gifts! And now as an adult, I love hearing his voice read those familiar words- and it seems much shorter... did someone take some of the words out!?! I didn't want it to end this year. It's definitely a tradition I want to carry on as my children grow up. It's a good time to remember the reason we celebrate, with the whole family gathered around the tree before the chaos of wrapping paper and new toys!

Jake's two "big" gifts were the Bright Starts Tropical Round-About and his Chicco Polly High Chair. (From both our parents, see pics below.) He loves them both, I do too! The high chair has everything I would want in a high chair, it's perfect! (I set it up today and had fun experimenting with it's every feature.) And I love the mobility the round-about gives him- it only took him one evening to learn that he can 'walk' around the table by himself!

(P.S. the highchair pic is from my camera phone so it's a little washed out)

I had a fun moment today... I was at Babies R Us, just shopping around. And I started looking at strollers and carseats. (Jake will need new ones, growing out of his infant ones.) And I realized that I need to consider strollers that may facilitate a mom of two! P.S. Don't get any ideas, we're not expecting yet! Not trying yet! But if all goes as planned, there will be a time when we have two+ little ones running around. I found some great products that are a little more pricey but that will take us through those multiple-child times. Right about now I'm wishing I had gotten a convertible carseat instead of the infant one... though it's been nice and portable, I just don't want to throw down another few hundered dollars on baby gear just yet! So any suggestions or feedback on products?

It's fun to wonder-- will Jake have a brother or a sister next?